Don't feel bad for wanting happiness too. If your SO really truly cares for you they want that too. I agree with the others, that you need to take time for yourself. It is difficult to do this sometimes because we feel lonely, sometimes horny, and often scared to face our true selves. However, you must remember that to make others happy, if you have children they are included in others, you must be happy first. It's not just a matter of mental well being but it effects your health too. Meditation, two chi, and yoga classes can often help to center your focus and health. Make some new friends that you can be honest with. Be honest with yourself no matter how hard it is. Remeber not to beat yourself up. Self recovery is not about punishing yourself but about healing instead. The mistakes you've made in the past don't matter its how you move forward from here on out. You are already taking steps in the right direction by asking for help. You are important. Keep your chin up, take a deep breath, and keep moving. You got this :)