If gay people can get married, why can't we allow polygamy too? (1 man with several wives or 1 woman with several husbands).

Jeffy14 · 2012-05-26T15:23:13.131139+00:00

Even better, I'm Canadian. ;) I probably should have used a less insulting and self-superior word, "backwards" maybe. I believe that a society that doesn't grant equal rights to women, hasn't evolved as much as one that does. Abrahamic religions, have rules which elevate the status of men above women, because their laws were shaped in the days when might made right. Their pecking order was simply a result of men being more brutish. As cultures evolve and progress, they value fairness and equality and reject the subjugation of women. They also reject those aspects of their law that are based purely on religion and replace them with secular laws.

Incompatibert · 2012-05-26T14:52:36.082683+00:00

I've always avoided the apology as well, and go for the more neutral condolences or deepest sympathy. They all sound shallow, it's hard to avoid, even heartfelt stuff like "it's just so sad" is ultimately trite. People who are mourning know you mean well, no matter what words you use.

Jeffy14 · 2012-05-26T14:46:51.861770+00:00

Spare me your etymological corrections Poindexter. ;) Sadly, I've been here before and forgot that one... TIreL

Jeffy14 · 2012-05-26T14:37:36.467752+00:00

Actually a woman with several husbands is called polyandry. And by stone age, I mean cultures where women don't have the same rights as men.

Toastiimuffin · 2012-05-26T14:35:00.231338+00:00

Yeah, we were all sixteen, and I'm pretty sure every sixteen year old thinks they know everything. Still, you need to talk to him and make it clear to him that what you just said is a fact. Because you're right, he's going to put your mother in a position where she'll have no choice but to involve the law. Hopefully you can talk some sense into him, or at least wake him up to the fact that people around him are very close to their breaking point and he will lose in a big way if and when they do.

angryminwage · 2012-05-26T14:15:55.741062+00:00

It's legal and a common practice. Some employers voluntarily pay some compensation for your on-call time, but I don't believe they have to and I'm assuming that's not the case here. There are situations where they have to compensate you for your oncall, basically if you get interrupted frequently and it hinders your ability to use your time, or if they put severe limitations on your ability to travel by imposing a minimum response time, etc. But I don't think it applies here, since they're basically only going to call you once and ask you to come in and work a shift.

Jeffy14 · 2012-05-26T13:29:07.930475+00:00

It's funny that you assume I'm stereotyping Muslims, I actually know Christian Brethren and they're more who I was thinking of when I said that. But that doesn't matter, they're more or less the same as their stone age Muslim equivalents. Their women are the same as the women in the Muslim societies to which you refer. Everything's hunky dory, they were raised that way and have been indoctrinated to accept that as their lot in life. I love that you bring the veil into it, yes I'm sure women in Iran love being dragged into a van by the morality police because they chose to show their face in public. Hell Dubai is practically modern by Arab standards, and yet they still do shit like imprison rape victims for their immorality. Arab culture is insanely patriarchal and misogynist, maybe you've lived there for so long you're going native.

Toastiimuffin · 2012-05-26T13:05:20.275004+00:00

I hate to say this, but there's really not a lot you can do. Most of the advice in here is bullshit, getting your brother in trouble with the law, having him beat up, going after his suppliers, etc. will do nothing but alienate your brother completely or worse. All you can really do is talk to him, let him know that he's crossing a line by getting into something like PCP or meth, especially when it comes to dealing. Don't give him ultimatums or make threats, he'll either just start lying to you or avoid you completely. You're his older sister, probably about the only family he'll be remotely honest with at this point. At least you have a shot of finding out how deep he's in and how far he thinks he's going to take this, and maybe your perspective will help him decide to turn it back down a bit. Anyway, hopefully he'll grow out of it before he becomes eligible for prison or starts handling the kind of volume that people get shot over. Seriously think about the potential consequences of some of the advice you're getting in here, giving your brother to the law or all of the internet tough guy talk about beat downs and guns. That's the kind of logic that led to this tragedy.

bikedres · 2012-05-26T12:03:58.227887+00:00

Get your ass to a thrift shop, it's all there, members only jackets, acid wash jeans, the sweaters.

Jeffy14 · 2012-05-26T11:58:05.979658+00:00

Polygamy, as it is usually implemented is not like "Big Love." It's done in extremely patriarchal societies, where greedy old men acquire very young girls and young men are deprived of prospective mates. Love has nothing to do with it, the girls in these societies are chattel, given as gifts to the older men of position in the community. That said, polygamy, polyandry, etc. has nothing to do with same sex marriage. That kind of argument was the same type of slippery slope crap ignorant people used against gay marriage for a long time, same as: "Can someone marry their dog then?" I don't care about the morality of such things; I think the main issue our society would have with poly-marriages relates to the equitable dissolution of such marriages. If I have 3 wives and 5 kids, and wife number 2 no longer wants to be a part of our marriage, issues like child custody, the division of property, alimony and child support become extremely complicated. Usually the cultures that allow polygamy don't have to face those complexities because they don't allow women to have rights, period.

stupidmemory · 1 day

I'm tempted to pretend I'm in shitty advice and say "a Swastika really means ask me about my tattoos." They're obviously there because a: either he is or was an AB style white supremacist, or b: he's a biker who got them for their shock value and doesn't buy into the Nazi ideology. I'd say let sleeping dogs lie. Some people have offensive beliefs and ideologies, as long as they aren't trying to impose them on you, what reason do you have to complain?

xwigginx · 1 day

I think you should post this in AskReddit as well, given the good chance that he either moved back to the states, or that someone knew him and his family in New Jersey.

xwigginx · 1 day

There's this Paul Cauthon on Facebook who currently lives in Lees Summit, but used to live in Kansas City (if the number doesn't pan out.)

springs88 · 1 day

It depends a lot on how resourceful and how obsessed her stalker is. Did he know your exact address? Was your phone number published? Would he have been able to determine your name from a call-up box? Can he access your mailbox? If he knows either of your names it makes things much easier. How tight are you and your girlfriend with your facebook and other online profiles? How big a town and how far you're moving make a difference too. Do you have close friends in the neighbourhood? Will she still be visiting them in the jeep? Anyway, sorry you have to move for the sake of a psycho.

DocWhoXI · 2 days

Don't feel bad that you didn't get to know her better, she wouldn't want you feeling guilty. Find out more about her from your relatives, look at old photos from her life, think about things like the fact that she was once your age. I'm an Atheist, so I'm not going to say fuzzy-bunny stuff like "she's in a better place now" or "you'll see her again" because I don't believe those things. But you're a part of her, you're carrying on her DNA, you share a continuity and in a very real way, she lives on through you. Her actions, her life, had a formative affect on who you are and the lives you yourself will affect moving forward. She is returning to what she came from, everything is change and matter is neither created nor destroyed. Deaths are a time to reflect on life, on how to honour her memory and live a meaningful life for yourself. As for the nuts and bolts of a funeral, there's not much to it, some people will cry, some will say lame platitudes, people will commiserate, they'll try to cheer each other up with humorous anecdotes. Everyone will act reverential in the presence of her corpse, some genuinely, some indifferent but faking it. Don't let people get on your nerves, everyone is awkward in the presence of death. Nothing anyone does or says will really matter to her when she is gone, she will rest in peace.

ranthria · 2 days

Cracking my knuckles.

Earjizz · 2 days

Nothing, a corpse has no use for possessions.

The_STD_In_STUD · 2 days

Came to say this, even years after you quit, you'll have these dreams where you suddenly realize that you're smoking again and wake up.

ColdisWarned · 2 days

That's unfortunate, maybe the tattooist will be able to make it look like a fancy "t."

Jonny410 · 2 days

Even if you wander into a bad neighbourhood in Oakland at a bad time, you're still unlikely to be shot, just give the mugger your wallet.

littlebalooney · 2 days

Given she spent a couple of years wiping your ass, I'm betting she would pop a zit if you asked her.

one_eyed_jack · 2 days

Charest was an idiot to not forsee what Bell 78 would do to the protesters' resolve. He must have thought that because Ontario didn't put up much of a fuss with McGuinty's over reaching G20 law, that a similar tactic would work in Quebec.

PBandJs4days · 2 days

Maybe you're being investigated for something else.

littlebalooney · 2 days

Damn, that one never occurred to me, it's her bubble wrap.

quegrawks · 2 days

12 Angry Men was probably the first one that I enjoyed, I think just because it's so minimalist, it doesn't need colours, they would just detract from the incredible dialogue. My favourites would be a tie between Strangers on a Train and The Night of the Hunter. Both for the same reason, because somehow black and white gives them a much darker mood, it would be hard to imagine either of them in colour.

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