What's the worst birthday present you've received?

nannizzle · 1 month

I agree, that stuff hurts.

My mom would always joke(?) that I needed to start caring about how I looked because no one would date me because of my personality. Yeah, my catchphrase is "Bitch Mode Engage" (though it wasn't then), but really? That's not something you joke about. I have a feeling stuff like that helped my depression get to the point where it did, and make me have super bad self esteem issues (yayyy almost having an eating disorder now~)

But hey, if you are around Minnesota, I bet I could get you a horse ride if you want. My family has horses, and we love it when other people come to ride.

hugsplz · 1 month

Thanks so much.

Now that you've decided that you really want to, you need to make a plan. Not just "Okay, I promise myself I will eat when I'm hungry".

Haha, as soon as you said make a plan that was the first thing I thought of. You're good you.

And don't mind about drinking and writing, my dad always says that's how you know someone's true thoughts. I'll definitely try the whole "doing other things to feel pretty" thing. Last time I dressed up, I got asked if I had a boyfriend now because I "actually looked pretty" that day. So your advice has quite some truth to it.

And I know what you mean about people with anorexia looking sick. I've always thought that, but in my case I always think, "Oh, I'd never let it get that bad, I'll be able to get it together before I get that bad", but I know that would probably not happen so I'm trying to stop it now.

Thanks for the support. :)

hugsplz · 1 month

I am glad to hear that you are not purging when you feel guilty about eating. If you are visiting pro-ana sites or looking at thinspo, I really advise you to stop if you are able to. That culture will warp your perspective.

That's something I haven't done. It's like the same as last year, when I was getting really fascinated about cutting - I knew if I visited pro-cutting sites that I would find something that spoke to me and then I would start. That's my little goal right now - never visiting those sites. Thankfully, that means I don't know much about eating disorders, except from having to see my friend waste away with one.

And thanks for the second comment, I really needed that. I'm the baby of the family, going the non traditional school route right now. My oldest brother worked for a few years before college, and my other brother got a wicked awesome full ride scholarship, and I have neither. I feel like I'm just trying to be good at something, or be valuable in some other way. I do have a friend that tells me things like that, but I try not to bother him with my stuff since he's got so much of his own troubles right now.

hugsplz · 1 month

It's definitely being hungry and not eating, but thanks for the link nonetheless. Actually, funny story, I can't eat right when I get up or I feel like throwing up - it has to be like 30 minutes or more. But, if I don't eat the first few hours in a day I get really dizzy. Stupid body, eh?

I'm trying to stop comparing myself to photoshopped people, but I just don't really know how :/

hugsplz · 8 months

Honorable topic.

hugsplz · 11 months

I don't really have any advice, but I just want to let you know that I've been there too. Not caring about things, just shutting down. I would just sleep all day, cry all the time, and even though I knew that it would save myself so much trouble to just do things, I couldn't. I would freeze up, start crying, and have to leave the room. So believe me, you're not alone in feeling that.

I can't really offer any advice, because I still haven't fixed it. I wish you the best of luck in figuring this out. I wish I could help more. :/

hugsplz · 1 year

I do want to be happy. I honestly do. I do the whole "fake it till you make it". But it hasn't been working. Honestly, the faking it has almost made it worse because I feel like I can't let people know how I truly feel because I'll be breaking that facade.

I mean, it's great that you were able to get better, but please don't assume that it'll work that way for everyone. Because I wish everyday that I could just be happy. I mean, there's nothing in my life that could cause me to be depressed; I have a great family, food, a roof over my head, and some good friends. My therapist is going to stop seeing me because she says all I need to do is just pay attention to the facts and disregard my negative emotions.

So, it should be simple to choose to be happy. It just doesn't work for me. I still cry every night, and I still don't get genuinely happy about things. But no one ever says anything, because I'm either so good at faking it that they don't notice, or because no one cares.

hugsplz

TROPHY CASE

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