Open letter to Pepperidge Farm: Go fuck yourself. Signed, Everbody.

cool_hand_luke · 1 month

Dear consumers that don't know to expect this, fuck you. Vote with your dollar.

alottafagina · 1 month

What is this I don't even.

Why do lazy rich kids and their lower class stoner brethren encourage this and perpetuate the ideal of the worthless 'pothead.' I have a good (read, I'm a high level cook, i.e. very good) work ethic, smoke, and buy into none of this lazy, self entitled, bullshit. Enjoy your white boy dreads.

finnocchiona · 2 months

Yeah, exactly.

finnocchiona · 2 months

This.

DrGirlfriend93 · 2 months

Baha, Reddit schadenfreude feels great.

standrightwalkleft · 2 months

Epic butter-flavored slip and slide.

DrGirlfriend93 · 2 months

Life pro tip: Don't eat at McDonalds.

drewcore · 2 months

Who are you, Aziz Ansari?

I call my cannoli shells that I get to roll and fry in the last hour before service every day 'motherfucking bane of my existence porca cannoli.' Extra bitter about them b/c I had to trash my entire par on Saturday because I didn't sell a single one (of course, because I was fully stocked). Just stood out back and crushed them individually while I smoked post shift.

drewcore · 2 months

Yup, 'Right behind...RIGHT BEHIND, INSIDE YOU, PREGNANT!'

gplnd · 2 months

And sauerkraut!

themehpatrol · 2 months

Yeah, that's some fucking sexist shit right thurr. I know a mean-ass 40 something Hondureño woman that'd beat your ass for thinking less of the chicas and then turn around and dish you under the table.

euneirophrenia · 2 months

Stick your head in it and be the Slyvia Plath of modern cuisine.

tesfox · 2 months

LA-Z. Nutrition aside, would you want to eat a salad of carrot peels? Me neither, so why leave that crummy tannic taste in something you've otherwise probably taken a good while to prepare and make taste good.

Get a y-peeler (kunh rikon's are like, 4$), grab carrot by tip with top on board, click, turn, click, turn, etc. Eventually you get fast at it and can peel a case of carrots in 5 minutes. At work I put a piece of parchment down whenever I peel anything, makes for insta-clean up.

TexasTTT · 2 months

Red's shooting range followed by dinner at Uchiko or Barleyswine.

lechef · 2 months

You can however get 'game' meats within the (fucking bullshit) USDA mandated guidelines. It's just that the consumer pays the cost of whatever USDA mobile approval vehicle has to drive out to watch the owner of whatever 'game' area shoot and process his semi-wild protein.

BBallsagna · 2 months

At one place hot customer was 'fire duck.' Is that a thing? Another (Japanese) place called 'PAIZURI!' which means tittyfuck in Japanese.

watitdew · 2 months

I hear the quarts are like, twice as big.

Tattooedwolf · 3 months

Dood, work to improve yourself until you make it to level at which people do care. Ambition baby.

samthunder · 3 months

Where the fuck are you spending your money?

samthunder · 3 months

I remember commiserating with the owner of a bar at which I cooked about shitty people. His remark, 'well, I caught someone pissing on the floor of my bathroom tonight. Did I deal with it angrily? No, of course not! He was wasted so I locked him in the shed until I calmed down. Then I pulled his ass out back and beat the shit out of him. This is how we handle poor customers, calmly.'

True story.

vinh72 · 3 months

Give up. You'll hate it and the city will eat you. It'll leave you nothing but the dried, withered, husk of your former self.

And it'll leave a position at Per Se, Chef’s Table, Daniel, ElevenSquare, Jean Georges, Le Bernardin, or Masa open for the rest of us.

addressunknown · 3 months

'Obama could lose.' And Snake Plissken is going to suddenly upset the mormon, the 'libertarian' bigot, and the person campaigning on the straight 'bigotry' platform to win. OIC.

randomt2000 · 3 months

Pig blood.

EDIT: Better yet, white veal blood.

dragonboltz · 3 months

The answer to that is pretty simple; alcohol. Definitely had half of a sexual encounter on top of a friend passed out under the sheets without noticing.

But the no masturbating thing? Rlly?

none_shall_pass · 3 months

Yeah, there's no 'nice' or acceptable way to ask a server for special treatment. All the food should come out the exact same, regardless. Variation=busch league. If you're a regular or somehow related to the restaurant your ticket might come back VIP-d which just means your food is coming out with a bit more attention to detail, more polished, but fundamentally the same.

And no, there is no way to explain to your server how the chef should do his shit. Assuming that you're not a professional, you probably don't have that much insight on how an industrial kitchen works and would be wasting people's time.

If the food's inconsistent vote with your dollar and find a better place to grub.

finnocchiona

TROPHY CASE

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