ThrowAwayWhiskers

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[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 10 points11 points ago

No, that's utterly ridiculous. If she got Cancer I wouldn't give a fuck about her damn hair.

Look, I'm not going to break up with her because of this. It doesn't make me love her any less. It's just easily fixed and in the same way I'd want her to tell me if something was bothering her (Smelly feet, snoring, burping, shitting in her Mom's downstairs toilet...) I'd want her to tell me.

If she had Cancer you'd better believe that I'd give every last cell in my damn body to do everything I could for her.

Your comparison is simply ludicrous.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 2 points3 points ago

iPhones always have 100% battery.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 1154 points1155 points ago

.... Samantha!!??

Edit: "Mom!??"

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 3 points4 points ago

"cum net"

That is utterly repugnant and magnificent.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 1 point2 points ago

I apologise for not explaining further. We've been together just over a year and whilst we're strong in many ways; I am a relentless torment to her. We tease eachother about things mercilessly but I know that the minute I actually go super serious on this, she'll be crushed. I spend every day telling her how perfect, stunning and incredible she is (which she absolutely is), I'd prefer to explore other options first.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 24 points25 points ago

Thank you, this is a very reassuring and kind comment. Money isn't really an issue and I would gladly pay for whichever solution she preferred.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 0 points1 point ago

Slightly different but I am in agreement with you. She keeps that area neat and tidy though. The strangest thing I've often found is when a girl has a really well kept front bum... but turn her round and she's pooped a hippy??

Why do you do this ladies? It doesn't bother me all that much it's just strange to have a beautiful front lawn and then a jungle in your back yard.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 71 points72 points ago

Your comment is appreciated, thank you :)

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 13 points14 points ago

I know what you're saying but it's a bit rose tinted.

If it comes from me, somewhere inside her, it's going to hurt.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 257 points258 points ago

BEEEESSSS!!!

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 68 points69 points ago

Yes, she's on Yasmin at the moment. She had a cyst once. She's concerned she may have another and is off to the Docs today.

Her skin is seriously immaculate. Boobs are definitely too big for her frame, which is a delight. It's just the stache.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 10 points11 points ago

Karma on a throwaway account... and a self post?

Yeah, you got it in one there.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 17 points18 points ago

So is eating.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 32 points33 points ago

No it's coming in strong in the corners. Last night she had one that was at least half an inch long sprouting from her chin. I wanted to put a car tire on it and relive my youth.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 117 points118 points ago

"Pass the yorkshire puds dear, and wax that merciless ming."

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 28 points29 points ago

Sorry, did you just describe me growing tits as a bad thing?

Are you insane?

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 259 points260 points ago

Haha, it's a tiny bit of lip hair. She's not a seasoned wizard.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 298 points299 points ago

I can't help but think that you're a dreadful human being. I most certainly would not approach a genuinely delicate situation like this.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 199 points200 points ago

Again, I think this is the best approach.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 8 points9 points ago

In a way, yes. The pill Jasmin.

She was hospitalised with it last year. Wrecks the poor girl.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 75 points76 points ago

Okay, that's fabulous and all... but I'd rather not look deep into the eyes of Nigel Thornberry every 4 weeks.

I'm just a bit lost with it to be honest. I love growing a beard and having long hair; Whilst I know full well that she wouldn't have a major problem with me doing so, I also know that she would dislike it, be less attracted to me and I don't want that. So I stay stubbled and groomed.

Do you wax your lip broom off when it grows?

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 198 points199 points ago

You may be on to something here. I braved the (still) shitty Reddit search function and found this. Both seem to be the best approach.

[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? by ThrowAwayWhiskersin AskReddit

[–]ThrowAwayWhiskers[S] 1274 points1275 points ago

(insert laugh), you utter bastard.

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[Douchebag boyfriend alert] My girlfriend is growing a Magnum PI. How do I tell her without crushing her? (self.AskReddit)

submitted ago* by ThrowAwayWhiskers to AskReddit

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