My mum compared my coming out as transgender to the exposure of a paedophile in her church. She didn't understand why I was shocked to hear this. ಠ_ಠ

lisa_lionheart · 1 year

It sounds like your parents are at least know they should be supportive, which is something. It's a hard thing for them to come to terms with: remember you've had a lot longer to get used to the idea of you being transgender than they have.

The fact that you've been able to have some dialog with them is a good sign. It shows that they are at least trying to overcome their prejudices which, rightly or wrongly (* cough * wrongly), may well be fairly deeply ingrained.

Try and forgive your mum for stupid shit like this: at least in the early stages. If you can get them to come around without alienating them, your parents will be a HUGE source of strength to you over this in the future.

Swiss_Cheese9797 · 1 year

...and if you don't have any clear plastic or cups, but do happen to have a handy self-enema kit, you could just shove the bad water up your ass!

bwc6 · 1 year

I prefer "Survivor Type" for the sheer sticks-with-you-long-after-you've-read-it factor, but The Jaunt would probably be my second favourite. Especially since I love me a bit of sci-fi.

Survivor Type can be found here if anyone wants to read it. It's about a heroin-smuggling surgeon who gets marooned on a desert island, but has such a strong survival instinct that he goes to extreme (and gruesome) lengths to keep himself alive.

Both of these are in the Skeleton Crew compilation ("available in all good bookshops!" since I'm starting to sound like King's publicist).

somewiseperson · 1 year

don't forget about all the ewoks that died afterwards as well...

on second thoughts, fuck the ewoks.

oliverdaniel · 1 year

Let's hope they didn't run into this guy

Gemini6Ice · 1 year

Did he get in?

EthicalReasoning · 1 year

inconceivable!

Gemini6Ice · 1 year

:O

anyway, turns out he wasn't. (see this comment)

Gemini6Ice · 1 year

he was very short in stature (which added to the hilarity).

As for the other thing... well he was Scottish and once wore a kilt out to a nightclub. A girl had a look under and then laughed and wiggled her little finger so... I'm guessing not.

Poor bloke was in a bad mood for the rest of the night after that.

Gemini6Ice · 1 year

Years ago, at university, a friend of mine left himself logged on to the uni computers whilst he went to the toilet, and I changed his signature to "P.S. I'm enormous".

We used Pegasus mail back then, which didn't make it obvious what your signature was if you were the one writing the mail.

He sent a load of mails to friends and other people on our course before figuring out what I'd done. I felt slightly guilty when I found out he'd mailed a lecturer with a question and it had tacked "P.S. I'm enormous" on the end of that too, but hey, I was young and immature.

nnnman · 1 year

A superconductor walks into a bar.

The barman says "Oi, we don't serve superconductors here. Please leave."

The superconductor leaves... with no resistance.

badum-tish

EthicalReasoning · 1 year

I couldn't find one when I looked. But all I did was tineye the op's link so that's not to say one doesn't exist.

EthicalReasoning · 1 year

http://www.srandaweb.com/pic/cerven/2685.jpg if anyone wants the pic

Hoorayforrats · 1 year

Have you ever made them a grass play box?

I ask because this is easily the best time my pet rats ever had. They loved it. Just get a shallow-ish plastic stack tub (so they can jump in and out of it), put some compost in it, add grass seeds and water and wait for the grass to grow a couple of inches high.

Then let your rats go play. They go crazy digging in the compost, pulling up the grass and hunting for ungrown seeds.

Hoorayforrats · 1 year

When I had rats I taught them a trick: I'd snap my fingers gently above their heads and say "two legs! two legs!" until they went on two legs to investigate the sound. Then I'd reward them with a treat.

Repeat a few times: when they don't do the trick, transfer the treat to the hand above their head to encourage them.

After a week or so of doing this occasionally, all I had to do was put my hand up and say "two legs!" and both my rats would stand upright for me, it was ace.

They forget pretty quick though, but it was awesome while it lasted.

00110110 · 1 year

When I was little, my dad told me that when he was a boy, you could buy magnets so strong that you could stand on corners and force cars to go round them just with the power of the magnet.

He said you couldn't get them any more cos of health & safety.

I believed that for years. Fucker!

Est1911 · 1 year

Funnily enough I wondered that myself when I posted earlier.

So I looked, and yep, he does!

They had a stall in Bryant Park which had a massive 7ft Darth Vader sculpture in the door. I bought Big Daddy for myself, a Boba Fett for my best mate and a Predator for my brother-in-law. Unsurprisingly, my baggage was overweight on the flight home!
Awesome stuff though!

sassanix · 1 year

Don't forget pop-up windows which helpfully inform the user "Your computer is not secure! Click OK for a free virus scan!" and your grandad doesn't realise it isn't a real Windows dialog and clicks ok and before you know it he's looking at hardcore girl-on-girl panda scat porn. Poor grandad.

True story.

Est1911 · 1 year

I have a big daddy sculpture too! http://i.imgur.com/vyobg.jpg

Unlike you, I didn't make mine though, I bought it from some guy in NYC who makes stuff out of bicycle parts.

The TSA shat their pants when it went through customs on the way back to the UK.

Apologies for the photo quality. Shitty phone camera.

(In all honesty, I think I'd rather have yours. Awesome work, man.)

sg7791 · 1 year

Yes! I like it. Especially in stir fries (frying it takes away a lot of the bitterness), but I'll quite happily gnaw on a raw stick if I'm peckish.

Makes your tongue tingle weirdly if you eat too much though.

andersonmanly · 1 year

I work with someone who does this so habitually she doesn't even realise, even when you've asked her to stop. She was presenting a document in a meeting once and had an entire room full of people gnawing on their fists in frustration.

We were too polite to ask her to stop more than twice.

Firefly300 · 1 year

I had a pet rat that was obsessed with it, and would sit for minutes at a time pulling it back and then releasing it to twang it.

Typing this it sounds absolutely unbelievable and I now wish I had a video (or at least pics!). Sadly said rat is long dead. And I have a new place with no BBBBBRRRRROOOOIIIINNNGGGG doorstoppers.

AlrightThen · 2 years

Knightmare, with Treguard the Dungeon Master and Pickle!

b00ks · 2 years

What are you talking about? There's nothing thOHJESUSFUCKINGCHRIST

majorwtf · 2 years

...tasty nutritious alpha particles! Right?

ScaryOwlFace

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ScaryOwlFace

TROPHY CASE

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