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Today I got the absolute strangest call I've ever taken. (self.talesfromtechsupport)

submitted ago by CaeliAria

So I'm a front line tech support rep for a major ISP. I get lots of crazy calls from crazy people. I'm very much used to getting screamed at and/or treated like I am not a human being. But today my mind was completely blown. I had to log out for a few minutes to catch my breath after this guy.

Me: Thank you for calling company my name is Caeli, can I please confirm that your number is number.

Guy: You hit the record button right now. State your full name.

We don't have any kind of a record button or any control over whether or not a call is recorded, it's automatic. Also we are advised not to give out our full names because of all the crazies that call in. But in the interest of professionalism...

Me: ... Every call is recorded. I can give you my employee id. It's zzzzzz. Can I confirm that number is your number please?

Guy: Yeah.

Me: Okay and what is your name sir?

Guy: I'm not giving you that. I'll tell you the account holder is name. And the account is at address.

So... this guy just demanded my full name but won't tell me who he is, and he isn't even the account holder...

Me: Thank you. And what may I call you today sir? (we are required to address each caller by name a minimum of 3 times)

Guy: I suppose you can call me Al. Look, I keep getting these calls from some company called privacy management something and I want you to block them from my phone. You can do that. It was the last number that called here.

Me: I would be happy to do that for you Al. I'm sorry you're having trouble with harassing phone calls. Go ahead and give me the phone number to be blocked and I will set it up right away.

Guy: You have it.

Me: I'm sorry, in tech support we don't have access to your personal records such as call logs. That's something we would have to go through billing to get. It would probably be faster for you to provide the number to be blocked and then I can get it done for you right now.

Guy: Don't you tell me you don't have access. I know you do. You just block that number for me right now. It's privacy management something.

Me: I'm sorry but without the number I can't enter it to be blocked. If you need a minute to get it I would be happy to wait. Or if you're willing to wait on hold while I get the information from our billing department I can do it that way too.

Guy: What is wrong with you! Just put the number in! If you're saying you can't do it then shame on you!!!!

click

Me: Okay, well thanks for calling and have a good day??

all 22 comments
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[–]IcovadaWannabe IT Guy 15 points16 points ago

Thank you. And what may I call you today sir?

You may call me sir.

[–]Andernerd 25 points26 points ago

Thanks for asking, you may call me Supreme Commander of cubicle 323.

[–]atombomb1945NERF to head 9 points10 points ago

You will address me as "His Royal Highness and Ruler of all that is Mundane, Sir Reginald Magnaham Ronald the III.

[–]kirbysuperstar 6 points7 points ago

"I'm not calling you Dominator."

[–]jezmck 3 points4 points ago

Exactly.

"Okay Jeremy, what can I do for you?"

You can call me Mr <Surname>.

[–]ComebackShane403 Flair Forbidden 2 points3 points ago

Call me "Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville".

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago*

Walks to OP's desk at work

Two words for you:

Paranoid

Schizophrenia

This is MIB/Tin Foil level P.S. if I ever saw it. Don't worry, it will never happen to you again.

Pulls out pen-shaped object and messes with some dials on the back

Pen extends at the top

Have a nice day.

The room is filled with light from the pen, which floods your visual sensors with so much light that it wipes out all stored memories since just before that call

[–]Bucky_Ohare"Indian Name" would be Compensates with Sarcasm. 10 points11 points ago

And suddenly I find myself still at my computer with a ton of written evidence to what just happened still in front of me, and you slowly back out of the room.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Actually, I was working with a team of clean-up specialists, and that flash also rendered you unconscious for about 1 hour post-flash.

[–]Bucky_Ohare"Indian Name" would be Compensates with Sarcasm. 2 points3 points ago

You forgot my very much active browsing history during that hour :/

[–]danexpo 8 points9 points ago

Fuck Customers. Everyone needs to have a mandatory customer service job for a year so they don't treat people on the other end like shit.

[–]slow_boy 9 points10 points ago

I don't see what is so strange about this.

[–]trippinonstupid 4 points5 points ago

Ya spend a few more years at it. I got the shame on you more than once and it always makes me laugh. Always imagine some religious nut trying to be courteous when ripping me a new hole.

[–]DFSniperHospital Tech Monkey 6 points7 points ago

i cant help but read that as the dodos from Ice Age: "Doom on you! DOOM on you!"

[–]Anna_DraconisToken female tech 2 points3 points ago

Why did he think his ISP could block the offending calls and not, say, his phone service provider? Does your company do both or something?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It could be one of those all-in-one services that offers Internet and VOIP.

[–]GnomeKingI have no idea what I'm doing. 1 point2 points ago

Probably the same as what we have here. Our service is all in one, one company provides cable tv, internet and phone. Though I think when you call you choose what department to go through.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I did support for U-Verse for a while, and I know for them, the support is all the same. It's all in the same call centers by the same people, except for the ones who are trained in IPDSLAM. Those unfortunate souls get regular Internet/TV/VOIP members as well as the ones who had the Internet-only setup. Agents who aren't trained in IPDSLAM generally just transfer over, generally not a long wait. I got one member who was irritated that I couldn't help him, and wouldn't let me transfer him to an IPDSLAM-trained agent, even though I wasn't trained, and therefore did not know how to troubleshoot a lot of the issues on those lines. After explaining for the fifth time...

"I don't understand why YOU can't help me; it's all AT&T, right???"

I got told the same thing by an AT&T (not U-Verse) customer calling in about a cell phone. "It's all AT&T!" /headdesk

[–]CaeliAria[S] 0 points1 point ago

Yes it does. It's phone internet and cable over fiber optic lines. People pay a ridiculous amount of money for it and think that entitles them to treat everyone at the company like crap. I'm not even an employee of the company, my employer just provides phone agents for them. Also the advertising makes people expect absolute perfection so they go apeshit crazy when things aren't exactly up to their enormous expectations.

[–]PrBlahBlahtsonJaded Service Monkey 0 points1 point ago

Used to work for a dial-through long distance company.

If you haven't taken your first relay call yet, look forward to that treat.

[–]CaeliAria[S] 0 points1 point ago

Actually we are very luckily not allowed to do that. Relay calls are an immediate escalation to our Tier II support.

[–]reddeth 0 points1 point ago

And the worst part is, when they call him back, he's going to call your company again and complain that "Caeli, ID number such-and-such, was supposed to block this number, and HE DIDN'T!"

And 10-to-1 says that call is one that wasn't recorded, and it'll be your word against his...

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