Should I go to my sister's baptism? It only has religious significance, unlike my brother coming home from his mission. I just want to be sure I'm not being a total asshole.

throwaway123454321 · 3 months

Go, because it's your family and you love them. Even if its stupid.

Zuggy · 3 months

My sister generally sings a solo on Christmas Sunday and this year was in a choir event hosted by the church. Whenever she sings she says "I understand how you feel about the church and religion and if you don't want to go you don't have to, but I'm singing if you're interested." I always go. Yes it's the church, yes it's religious and I'm an agnostic atheist, but I don't care, it's important to her which makes it important to me.

Since she's taken up swearing lately I her told just to call me and say, "Bitch, I'm singing, be there." Many who leave the church are bitter about it, and rightfully so. I was one of those bitter people for a long time, but I figure if we don't connect with those we care about because of that bitterness we are still letting the church control our lives.

You did the right thing. You didn't go to support the church, you went to support and show love towards your sister.

ringmasternj · 3 months

I'll just create an example here, this is no way intended to say you or anyone else fits this scenario, it's just to paint a picture.

A guy is Atheist. His sister is Christian. His sister is getting married in her church, so in this sense its more than a simple marriage ceremony. It is also a religious ceremony, with prayer, etc. Of course she wants him to be there in this important day in her life. The guy doesn't agree with Christian theology, but does he skip the ceremony? Is it about the ceremony, or is it about her?

I think this baptism, whatever age your sister is, is probably important to her. In the least, she probably feels it important that you be there. In essence, to me at least, not going doesn't tell your sister you're strong in your non Mormon belief. I honestly think she'll see it as you, as you put it, are being a "total asshole".

I think when choosing between my feelings, or my family, I tend to lean to the latter first. Now if I were asked to go to church every Sunday, no. That, to me, is normal mundane events. The big ones, like a baptism, blessing of a newborn, marriage, etc, I can set my feelings aside for a moment and support my loved ones. Even if I wholeheartedly disagree with it. Silently. Just my two cents.

speakpurple · 3 months

I didn't go to the blessings or baptisms of my younger nieces or nephews but went to the after parties. I don't want to be part of the religious ceremony but want them to know I care.

exmotreesguns · 3 months

Is your sister 8? Then yes. Is your sister an adult? Then no.

Basically if she understands that you not wanting to go to the baptism has nothing to do with her, and does not take it personally then it's ok. If you think there is the slightest chance it won't be that way you should go.

transmogrification · 3 months

I'll have to dissent. Maybe I'm still too close to leaving TSCC, but it seems so terribly wrong to support the indoctrination of a child who can't decide for herself. Going to watch a musical performance is one thing, but the thought of attending a baptism makes turn a little.

If she isn't old and mature enough to comprehend why wouldn't want to attend her baptism, how is she remotely ready to make a decision about getting baptized in the first place?

It seems you should be able to find a way to show your love and support for your sister if attending a baptism doesn't sit well with you.

LazarWulf · 3 months

My wife is TBM and I'm atheist, therefore my young kids are being raised mormon (for now). My daughter will be 8 this year, and it's kind of hard when she asks me if I'll baptize her and why not when I tell her that I won't. My family doesn't quite get it either, "Why don't you get your act together so you can baptize your daughter? You'll feel better about yourself and will receive lots of blessings." And so on. I feel just fine about myself, and kind of pity them that they base their whole existence on this fairy tale. When my kids are a little older and mature, I'll start teaching them about skepticism and to think for themselves whether or not if they believe. I won't force anything down their throats one way or the other, but I want them to know that it's ok to question what you're taught.

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