The standard prayer.... ring any bells?

emtalks2u · 3 months

Yep, that was it, without a doubt.

My brother once took the time to elaborate while our friends were over because we were praying for my grandmother in the hospital. The mother of the other family cleared her throat halfway through told him to stop showing off and that he needed to consider how proud he was being. My father and mother frowned, but didn't say a word, and I grabbed Matt's hand and left with him. He was so upset that we put salt in her drinks the entire night.

That woman was a bitch...

R0B34U · 3 months

On a related note, I always loved it (read: hated it) when a momo would end their testimony, "and I say these things in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, amen."

I would always say to myself, and later, to friends sitting next to me, "Um, I don't have a son named Jesus..."

I think this derives from the fact that most TBMs sincerely have no freakin idea what they're actually supposedly saying/doing.

BowlingisnotNam · 3 months

I always hated when someone would start some marathon prayer session because their heart had so goddamn much to say. Like they had to prove it to others that this shit was so incredibly meaningful, that they were going to outdo the standard blessing on the food by a good ten minutes.

These days I'll give them two minutes to do their thing, then my patience wears out and I stop caring about being sensitive to their ravings.

inco · 3 months

The reason it was memorized is because most of us can't have conversations with imaginary beings.

mimeismoney · 3 months

"Our fear'd heavenly father, We thank thee that we can't understand the anthropic principle and never have taken a physics class, and we assert that you, and not whoever produced our food, are responsible for feeding us. We ask for superpowers that we need neither understand nor see evidence of. Please take note of our groveling and don't curse us with whatever you were going to before we groveled. We submit these entreaties in the name of an overblown itinerant Jewish apocalyptic who is variously asserted to have lived about two millennia ago. Ramen."

shakeyjake · 3 months

..."and please bless those that are traveling that they may return home safely"

StandardDeviation · 3 months

What came to our hearts was a little different. We began "Our Father in Heaven..." No thanking for the "day." And instead of "We ask that you will bless it" we said "Please bless it..." And unless it was a special occasion, no mention of random family members. We were three forkfuls into the dish before you guys said Amen.

curious_mormon · 3 months

This, plus "a blessing on the hands that prepared the meal" if it felt too short or was a special occasion (ie: thanksgiving).

annalatrina · 3 months

I love it when this prayer is said over junk food. You're magic words cannot turn pizza, soda, and brownies into a nutritious meal! Do you really want to strengthen your body? Go for a jog, because chanting a phrase at mealtime doesn't do much for your health.

xXSanityXx · 3 months

Spot on. Still goes on today.

The thing that bothers me the most of these standardized prayers?

The fact that my siblings and parents will pray to God to let me know how much they appreciate and love me.

I'm standing/sitting right the fuck beside you. Why not just tell me to my face, rather than through your imaginary friend?

So frustrating, because when they aren't praying they are constantly debating me/shunning me. No matter what the Church says, family isn't first. My family can't let it go, and just treat me like a normal human being.

slept_in · 3 months

My new stepdad is very serious about his faith and his prayers, even the ones immediately preceding dinner, are never less than five minutes. He's not just asking for nourishment and strength, he's asking for the almighty to heal the world and bring Christ's word to all the nations on Earth. EVERY DINNER. He must think that Heavenly Father is working on it, he's just waiting for someone to ask him thousands of times with unwavering sincerity.

PaulyMcBee · 3 months

I would just use my priesthood power to bless the bags of groceries before unloading them from the car...problem solved (until we needed to go food shopping again).

Me-Here-Now · 3 months

Once, on Thanksgiving my FIL got so carried away with a big special prayer that went on until a little year old niece started to cry, thinking that she was never going to get to eat.

But usually it was pretty much like the prayer above.

Also my family and my in-laws said almost exactly the same "blessing on the food".

doubledmateo · 3 months

well in their defense it's hard to keep a one sided conversation very unique. Especially when you're being encouraged to have it in front of other people multiple times a day. ;)

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