(I hope this shows guys that a vasectomy is a really minor operation. Here's my story.)

I'll never get why many men are so uptight about getting a vasectomy. A vasectomy, or "getting snipped" means less worries for me. So when my ex-wife and I decided not to have any more children we decided I would get a vasectomy. Here is my story.

So we made an appointment to see the urologist, both of us. He explained what was going to happen, showed us plastic models, and so forth.

Doctor: "You'll get a local anesthetic and we'll make an incision here on the scrotum so there won't be a scar. There are 2 tubes we'll be cutting. For each tube, we cut off about 1 inch, then fold one end, and put a clip on it. Wear 2 pairs of underwear so an ice pack will stay in place."

Me: "Why do you fold it and clip it?"

Doctor: "Um..well...in rare cases, the tubes have grown back making the man fertile again."

Me (shocked by nature): "Really?"

Doctor: "Really."

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So we made an appointment for me. My wife went with me and drove. They called my name and I grabbed a magazine hoping to take my mind off the procedure. It was a Field and Stream magazine.

I went into the room with a magazine, which looked like a regular family doctor room, not an operating room. The nurse gave me a sheet and said "Now when I LEAVE please move your pants down to your ankles."

She left, I complied. The doctor entered a few minutes later.

Doctor: "Hi Mr. X. So we're taking off the left foot today? Ha ha. No, looks like you're getting snipped."

Me: "Yes."

Doctor: "Ok. Let's get started. The anesthetic will burn a bit but then you won't feel a thing."

Mr. Happy is taped up away from the area. A needle is applied to the region and it burned a bit, but was strangly warm. Like warm whiskey being put into my nether regions.

So the doctor starts cutting and I start reading my magazine.

Me: "Hey doc, mind if I read a magazine?"

Doc: "No. Go ahead."

He makes the incision. Curious I look down. He has 2 large knitting needles, and I think I may have stumbled into a knitting class, like in some weird dream.

Me (a little nervous): "What are those for?"

Doc: "These grab the vas deferens so I can cut them."

Me (reading magazine again): "Hmm. They now have fishing lures with electric lights in them. How about that?"

Doc: "Mmm. Clip please."

A few minutes pass. I smell burning flesh. I try to think of a joke about burning balls, but choose not to say it.

The whole thing takes about 15 minutes. Soon the doctor is placing a bandage on me, and pulling up my underwear. He places an ice pack on me and pulls up my second pair of underwear, and hands me a specimen cup.

Doc: "Here's a specimen cup. Come back with a specimen in 3 weeks, just drop it off at the front desk. DO NOT have sex until we give the ok." (They need to make sure the procedure worked.)

Well I used the ice pack about 3 days, then walked carefully the next 4 days. After that I was fine.

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Three weeks later I'm in the bathroom. I figure I would stop by the urologist before work, drop off a sample to see if the vasectomy "took".

Wife: "What are you doing in there?"

Me: "I'll be out in a minute."

Wife: "I have to go to work now."

Me: "Have a good day."

Pause.

Wife: "Are you coming out?"

Me (getting more annoyed): "I'm going to the urologist this morning."

Wife: "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

Me: "He wants a sample!"

Pause.

Wife (still at door): "Oh." Long pause. "Do you want some candles and music?"

Me: "No! I'll be fine." I hear footsteps walking away.

I get the deed done and put the cup in a paper bag. I certainly don't want to be stopped by the police and have them ask "What's in the cup?" Quite embarrased now I have to figure out how to explain to the lady at the front desk of the urologist what is in the bag and what should be done with it.

Front desk: "Good morning. Can I help you?"

Me: "I have a specimen for the doctor."

Front desk (loudly): "What kind of specimen?"

Me: "Er, um, it's a...I had..well, I had a vasectomy."

Front desk: "Oh, and they have to check for sperm?"

Me: "Yes."

She asks my name and I write it on the bag. I'm now very embarrassed, having never done something like this before.

Well, long story short, they wanted another specimen in another 4 weeks to double check. I did that and all is in order, and it worked out fine. Some men say sex won't be the same, but it's even better now without the worry.

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I enjoyed sex a lot more knowing we were done having kids. Sex got more spontaneous, which I like, and I had less worries.

Did you know: on CSI when they use a UV light to check for semen, that the sperm are what glow under the UV light? If the man had a vasectomy, the semen would not glow. This is how the urologist looks for sperm: with a UV light and microscope.

95% of problems with vasectomies happen because the man has unprotected sex before he has been cleared with the doctor. The other 4% of problems (pregnancies) happen due to using an older procedure where they don't use clips, don't cut out 1 inch of each vas deferens, or some other less cautious method. I am very skeptical of the no-cut vasectomy because it only cuts the vas. It does not use clips, or remove 1 inch of each vas.