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IAmA Former valet driver for a famous 5 Star Hotel (self.IAmA)

submitted ago* by [deleted]

Ferris Bueller style. The garage was about a quarter mile away, though we sometimes didn't take the shortest path...

Here's Jay-Z's Maybach 62S (yes I was in it) http://i.imgur.com/i1n16.jpg

And a few others (Bentley Flying spur, porsche, lambo) http://i.imgur.com/Gyj8t.jpg http://i.imgur.com/Q0Dje.jpg http://i.imgur.com/j6HYX.jpg

cheers

Edit: To those of you with your panties in a bundle- A. There was absolutely a heirarchy when it came to the nice cars. Crappy valets never got them, the doormen would hold the keys and give it to someone they trusted/ knew was a good driver. B. If it wasn't a nice car, it was probably yours, and it wasn't worth having any fun with. c. You would romp on nice cars every once in a while too.

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[–]manmalade 3 points4 points ago

Ever steal any change?

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[–]sikyon 5 points6 points ago

Really? You are presumably loaded and you would risk jail by acknowledging ownership of an illicit narcotic?

[–]Ive_done_this_before 5 points6 points ago

First, you need to look up the definition of narcotic. Second, as the ops manager at a hilton, I can guarantee that if a guest came to me and said that one of my housekeepers stole his marijuana I would certainly get to the bottom of it without police involvement. While the guest wouldn't get it back, the housekeeper would be lucky if she kept her job. The world isn't out to rat you out. I just want to make everybody happy, ESPECIALLY in the hospitality business.

[–]sikyon 3 points4 points ago

And if, when you threatened to fire the housekeeper, they say "OK won't happen again" and then turn the marijuana over to the police to start an investigation, which protects them from retaliatory action on your part, and possibly fingers you to corporate (telling them that you tried to cover up illegal drugs for a client, which would be true) which obviously can't fire that person due the distinct possibility of a lawsuit.

At least, that's what would run through my mind if someone complained to me that their drugs were stolen.

Then again, I'm not an Operations Manger at a Hilton. I'm sure you know how to do your job.

[–]Ive_done_this_before 1 point2 points ago*

I wouldn't threaten to fire anyone without proof she actually took it. If she lies to me about it and goes to the police, she is doing so with stolen property and in possession of an illegal substance. The best I can do is hear both sides of the story and try to come to a satisfactory result. There is no cover up. I am not required to inform the police, especially if there is no evidence it existed at all.

My ultimate point is that if ANYTHING is stolen from my guests, I want them to be able to come to me. I certainly want to know if I have a thief in my employ.

[–]girlingboyer 1 point2 points ago

You've done this before...

[–]ManicParroT 0 points1 point ago

If I was the housekeeper in this situation I'd say "well, I threw it away because it was obviously illegal, but since there's apparently a complaint, let's take it up with the cops."

[–]Kx2hunter 0 points1 point ago

U.S. Law allows an employer from firing an employee for ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. EXCEPT: In retaliation for DISCRIMINATION. Otherwise, the employer does as he or she pleases.

[–]sikyon 0 points1 point ago

Protip: Employment law in the US varies by state.

[–]Kx2hunter -1 points0 points ago

Protip: By U.S. Law, I mean LACK of U.S. Law. 2nd Protip: Take a course in Business Law to know that this lack of law is universal in all states

[–]Trebay 0 points1 point ago

word id be pissed

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[–]Ba-na-na-na 2 points3 points ago

That probably makes things more efficient, otherwise you'd be seriously overworked.

[–]HyperionCantos 2 points3 points ago

brave

[–]kevler9oh 3 points4 points ago

As a motoring enthusiast, I don't know whether to be mad at you for joy riding in these cars or applaud you for it.

I know that if it was my Lamborghini you took for a spin, I'd be upset because you could have easily harmed something, but I'd also feel like I've made it in life because some kid actually wanted to joyride my car. Either way, my question would be: the most expensive sports car you driven? Please mind you I said sports car, not a Maybach or a Rolls. Thanks!

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[–]hangerbaby 2 points3 points ago

How dare you forget

[–]kevler9oh 1 point2 points ago

I wasn't specifically referring to the Gallardo in your picture, I didn't even look close enough to see the paint chips.

The Volvo sounds sick, I love how people make those things into sleepers. Kind of a shame that the SLK was the best you had when you consider what could've came through, it's pretty much a clit with a V8 haha.

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[–]kevler9oh 1 point2 points ago

Okay, see, now I'm jealous.

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[–]icandoabackflip 5 points6 points ago

Who was the rudest celebrity you have talked to?

[–]NovaPrime 0 points1 point ago

This. Who were real assholes and who were the nicest?

[–]ScaredycatMatt 3 points4 points ago

Funniest thing that has happened?

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[–]nburghmatt 6 points7 points ago

excellent.

[–]AbruptlyBlue 8 points9 points ago

Did you ever take a nasty fart before returning the car?

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[–]boogabooga08 1 point2 points ago

Do you convince many people to never use valet service by telling them your crazy antics?

EDIT: forgot the question mark.

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[–]drawsyourcomment 10 points11 points ago

I have a really nice car and often valet with scum like yall

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[–]BokehBurgher 8 points9 points ago

yeah but what about the PONTIAC FIERO!!! RED!!!

[–]notlongleft 4 points5 points ago

How good a tipper is Jay Z then?

[–]Ice_And_Fire 2 points3 points ago

Which car made you wet your pants with glee the most? Ever almost dented a guest's car? (I put 'almost' because I suppose it's not the kind of job you get to keep if you bang up a luxury or exotic car). Or is it the reason why you're a former valet?

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[–]drdoooom 8 points9 points ago

So it's taboo to boost change, but taking a joy ride in a guest car is ok.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[–]kerblo 2 points3 points ago

Any stories of illegal things found in cars?

[–]flagamuffin 2 points3 points ago

Other celebrities you've seen/been around there?

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]flagamuffin 0 points1 point ago

Very awesome, thanks for answering.

[–]carockodile 0 points1 point ago

Any good stories with the hockey teams?

[–]cammmco 2 points3 points ago

Whats the biggest tip you've gotten?

[–]articmaze 0 points1 point ago

Did you ever scratch a car?

[–]Vordreller 1 point2 points ago

Rudest thing a customer ever did/said to you? And how did you take it?

[–]GreenSnoopy 1 point2 points ago

How does one work their way op the valet driver hierarchy? Did you start out working valet at The Cheesecake Factory or something?

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[–]GreenSnoopy 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the help! I am going to try to land a valet position this summer.

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[–]Gumbola 0 points1 point ago

How much did you make weekly? Tips & hourly..

[–]panicker 0 points1 point ago

Have you noticed a camera in the any of the new cars and do you behave like on camera when you see it? Looks like many people who use valet service have those installed and post youtube videos of abuse.

[–]Ohbahcha 0 points1 point ago

Not to steal any thunder I worked as a hotel valet guy too;one weekend we hosted the traveling astronauts, long story short I hooked up Pavel Popovich with a lighter; no big deal.

[–]itsme_timd 0 points1 point ago

I've seen valets hammer down on my vehicle before. One time I exited the patio door instead of the front door at a restaurant and saw the valet rip around the corner with my car. He saw me as well and when he dropped my car off he just kind of tried to hurry a bit and didn't look at me.

[–]csisfun 1 point2 points ago

Nice parking on Jay-Z's Maybach.

[–]goood-dog 0 points1 point ago

I was wondering about the same thing.

[–]somedelightfulmoron -1 points0 points ago

A former valet driver

what happened? did you get fired?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AllHipoCrates 6 points7 points ago

Let us know when you figure it out.

[–]American_Standard -1 points0 points ago

I see what you did there, because he put a question mark like he was unsure of himself and not questioning the original question because the answer was obvious.

[–]AllHipoCrates 0 points1 point ago

Or maybe he suffers from upspeak and I'm a insensitive jerk.

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