I was just told 'alcohol weakens glass,' by a salesman. What's the most ridiculous thing a salesman told you.

Aussiemon · 3 months

I was told by a Verizon representative that a Droid wouldn't even turn on without a data plan, because it had "an internet-based processor".

dont_get_it · 3 months

There are scummy electronics/gadgets shops on Tenerife - don't buy anything from them.

I was looking at a display of binoculars and the sign said they had nightvision ones for sale. I asked the salesman which ones had night vision

"all of them".

These were regular binoculars. I asked where would the batteries go in them - he said they had a coating on them to see infra-red. I looked through them and they were regular optical binoculars. I called him on this, and he says

"Did I say infra-red? I meant infra-green".

Infra-fricken-green!

necroj · 3 months

A salesperson from a home security company told me the motion sensors will not detect cats because it can sense their brain waves. Didn't go with that company.

SapphireDragon · 3 months

When we were making funeral arrangements for my grandfather, we got to hear all kinds of horror stories about casket failures so the funeral guy could sell us the casket with the 99 year warranty. I asked how often they would dig it up to check the seals. Took me a few minutes before I realized my mom wasn't crying harder, she was laughing.

EndlessForLoop · 3 months

AT&T sales lady just told me I had to use their router so my internet would work with the "special underground wires" that they use ಠ_ಠ

omegaminus_sk · 3 months

I was buying a set of 4.1 computer speakers at a major chain and the salesman told me I should get the product service plan because "if one speaker is disconnected, then the current that was going through it is directed to the other speakers and that could overload and damage them".

SpilledMiak · 3 months

My brother (an idiot) was told that a special cleaning spray would make CD's and DVD's play better.

My brother now claims it makes his video games load faster and improves the movie quality beyond BluRay.

I tried explaining why he was a dolt, but it just made him defensive.

punkwalrus · 3 months

I was helping a friend buy a car. As she was working out financial dealings, I wandered around the lot. A salesguy came up to me, and gave me the corniest lines in all of car sales stereotypes. I mean, it was unreal.

Guy: How can I help you today?
Me: I am just killing time while my friend buys a car.
Guy: You look like a sharp guy, I bet you get all the women.
Me: [chuckled at the line like out of a comedy sketch] What?
Guy: You heard, me. Handsome guy like you, what kind of car do you drive? I bet it's a Mustang. A race car? Don't tell me, a Ferrari!
Me: I drive a Dodge Omni. Not exactly a sex machine, there. But it gets the job done.
Guy: A Dodge Omni! A handsome guy like you needs a MAN'S vehicle! [slaps hand on I think a Chevy pickup] Now HERE is a MAN'S MACHINE!
Me: A Chevy pickup?
Guy: That's right, built Chevy Tough! GRRRRR [grips fist and smiles] huh? GRRRR!!!
Me: I know you work on commission, so let me save you some money. I am not here to buy a car. At all. I am here with a friend--
Guy: So what can you afford?
Me: Not a car payment, that's for s--
Guy: Let me tell you what you can't afford: to drive in a Dodge Omni. This Chevy is a SEX MAGNET!
Me: I am married.
Guy: Of COURSE you are! Stud like you, what you got 4-10 kids?
Me: I swear to you, you will not sell a car to me--
Guy: This is how you can afford this truck. [whispers like secret agents are about] Strap a snowplow to this bad boy, and you'll easily make 50-70 thousand every winter. IT WILL PAY FOR ITSELF!
Me: How will I fit 4-10 kids in this Chevy?
Guy: How can you fit them in the Omni?
Me: I have a roof rack.
Guy: This has a cargo bed!!
Me: Touche...

That guy would not let go. I had to walk away from him, and he kept following me around until I had to go find my friend, and ask the other salesguy to tell his coworker to leave me alone.

PrototypeT800 · 3 months

That megabytes are the same as megabits. ಠ_ಠ

Damasticator · 3 months

"You need to get a screen protector because the oils and heat from your fingers will wear down the touch screen on your new Android phone."

That day I learned that my fingers will destroy gorilla glass.

whimsical_pizza · 3 months

I went with my younger sister to buy her first laptop for school, about a year ago when tablets were becoming a huge thing. I explained to the Best Buy salesman that we were here to buy a laptop or perhaps a netbook, and he kept saying that "laptops are basically obsolete now, everyone is switching to tablets." I told him that we wanted a simple computer for her to type essays etc. on and that a touchscreen keyboard wouldn't be ideal for that anyway. He seemed extremely reluctant to sell us a computer and kept stressing that "nobody uses laptops anymore."

I couldn't believe it.

hozjo · 3 months

Fact: More glasses get broken in the presence of alcohol.

darknite24 · 3 months

We were trying to buy a used car and the front end was pulling hard right. He told us it was supposed to do that in case you fall asleep at the wheel the car will go offroad instead of into median...

Skulder · 3 months

Gold-plated optical cables give a better connection.

Optical cables. With gold plating.

They really do exist.

EDIT: 3000 people voted on this, not a single one pointed out I couldn't spell "cables". I don't know whether to be happy or disappointed.

iliveinyoureyelid · 3 months

I was buying mutual funds, and the representative was showing us some 'ethical' funds. I noticed that Coca-Cola was on the list. I asked him about it, he immediately volunteered that Coca-Cola wasn't all that ethical, but then said if the fund buys enough shares, they can change Coke's policies !

We all just sat and stared at each other.

RalphMacchio · 3 months

slightly off topic....

My strategy for dealing with salespeople:

Act kind of dumb and ask a couple questions for which I definitely know the answers. If their response is BS (either lying to me or just not knowing what the hell they are talking about), then I say thanks and walk away. If they respond with honesty and knowledge, then I continue asking questions and gradually transition from things I already know to the things that I actually wanted to ask the salesperson. This way I can have a decent amount of confidence in the validity of the answers.

SOLIDDD · 3 months

Bestbuy employee trying to get me to pay an additional $90 dollars to let the "tech experts" there optimize the laptop I wanted to purchase. Apparently my computer would run up to 100x faster and I wasn't qualified to do this myself. A quick Google search on my smartphone revealed it was a scam where they would just delete some of the programs that come with the laptop and do the initial turn on.

tacojohn48 · 3 months

I was told that the used Ford Escort I was looking at was a real panty dropper.

heurrgh · 3 months

Salesman: ...all our extrusions are way better cause they're lighter. Other makers use anodized aluminium - that's aluminium painted with Anodize - and all them coats of Anodize makes them heavy.

christophski · 3 months

I overheard a salesmen telling somebody that a laser printer will "never run out like an ink printer"

edit: there seems to be confusion over the emphasis of the sentence, the salesman said it as "it will never run out like an inkjet printer", as in, it won't run out of anything, it will always work.

CanadaEh97 · 3 months

Have you ever walked into a GNC? If you have I don't need to say more.

leafeator · 3 months

I was told by the guy at the liquor store that I should not buy wine because it will not get anyone drunk. "The alcohol in there is so low you would need to drink ten bottles." He then suggested PBR.

4amPhilosophy · 3 months

I got a doozy while looking for my wedding ring. Now, I'm not particularily a diamond person and was considering other types of stones. I slipped up and in converstation the word wedding came out of my mouth. The rings I was looking at were promptly covered up and a much more expensive tray were brought out. Before I could even roll my eyes I was told that, "You need diamonds for a wedding ring, they are harder and won't ever get scratchs on them. Those auqamarines are so soft that the surface will be completely scratched up within a year making it cloudy and you don't want that to be your wedding memory."

I promptly walked out of that store.

cassieee · 3 months

A dentist once told me that if you're on antibiotics, Novocaine won't have an effect on you. I told the next dentist I went to and they basically were like, "We don't want to tell you that he lied to you, but that is absolutely not true."

sonofspermcube · 3 months

"This car doesn't have airbags. You don't want those, they're dangerous."

Maybe if you're 4 and a half feet tall, I guess.

DanKajito · 3 months

At Future Shop and I was looking for a double female headphone adapter. The guy told me to buy a $160 pair of gaming headphones that happened to come with the adapter I wanted. What he said after really astounded me.

"It's perfect, you get the adapter you need and a free pair of headphones!"

KitDeMadera · 3 months

When asked why I was canceling my cable TV, I said that I was going to use an antenna to get (digital) over the air signals.

I was told that you can't get TV over an antenna any more.

DJTaki · 3 months

I was buying my PS3 at best buy and "for only $65" they were willing to "set up my console to my tv (HD was extra, mind you.), create a PSN account and get me connected through wifi."

EDIT: Apparently what i was offered was a pretty good deal, did some looking around online and found this gem. http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/4/2009/09/500x_500x_76SC6.jpg

Rasimov · 3 months

Monster cables are the only cables to give you a "true HD" experience.

jerbookins · 3 months

This wasn't told to me by a salesman but a "technical support representative" of Best Buy.

I used to own a CRT Samsung HDTV and had moved into an apartment with some friends so it got a lot of use. As time went on, we noticed that the picture would suddenly look distorted and noisy for no good reason. As I had purchased the set from Best Buy with the extended warranty, I held no reservation on calling them right away to try and extort my way into a new TV. Back then (approx. 6-7 years ago) it was extremely easy to take advantage of their replacement warranties. However, in this particular instance, Best Buy got the best of me by fucking me over with the worst tech reps in the history of tech reps. I had 3 at home visits with this guy whom, upon concluding that he knew absolutely fuck-all about what was wrong with my TV, would give me the most ridiculous excuses not to replace my set. Most notably was the final excuse I allowed him to give me: "Your TV is not properly adjusted to the magnetism of the Earth. Unfortunately, this is not something that is covered by our warranty and doesn't fall outside of Samsung's 'normal operation' criteria." At which point I instructed him the swiftest way out of my apartment.

In the end, I managed to get some sympathy from Best Buy's management on the matter of my TV as well as the fuck-face of a tech. They couldn't believe what they heard when I told them what their rep said to me, and they helped me with replacing a circuit board inside the TV. I also took the liberty of keeping a few of the tools that the rep left behind after he was done determining it was the Earths magnetism that was causing all my HDTV woes.

tl;dr best buy service technician told me my hdtv was misbehaving due to not being properly attuned to the earths magnetism.

clintonius · 3 months

Drove with a friend from New York to Florida in his crappy old Civic, White Pony. When we got there, we discovered a leak in the radiator, and it started running hotter than it should. We popped into an auto parts shop, and the guy first told us about an $8 bottle of solution you can pour into the radiator to stop the leaks. Then he proceeded to warn us against it, saying it doesn't work very well, and that we should buy a new radiator for $800 (this car couldn't have been worth more than $1000) and take it to the mechanic next door. We pretended to mull it over, then politely declined and said we'd take the solution. He said, "Oh yeah, good call. Stuff works real good."

Edit: No exaggeration, the dude quoted $800, though given that this was over four years ago and my memory isn't perfect, he may have said that was his estimate for parts plus labor if we took it to the guy he recommended. At any rate, 800 was the number. And the stop-leak stuff worked like a charm. Friend had the car for another couple of years before he gave it away for a tax break, and never had another problem with the radiator.

Kalima · 3 months

I've had a contract with T-mobile for 8 years. I got a call yesterday telling me that they can save me money on my plan. I had 2 big questions; 1. Would this extend my plan? Yes. 2. Would this allow them to throttle my data if i went over their allotment? Yes (currently with my old contract they can't) and finally, how much money would i save? none...

Slapbox · 3 months

I bust out laughing and responded 'yeah i used to bartend and we'd had that problem all the time, vodka bottles spontaneously exploding.'

That's why high quality vodkas like Crystal Palace come in plastic bottles!

CarpeKitty · 3 months

Had microsoft support say they were exempt from the consumer guarentees act in NZ in reference to the RROD.

No, you aren't above the law microsoft. You don't sell oil or make movies.

ethyms · 3 months

At wal-mart I asked if they carried any cat5 in lengths longer than 25ft and the salesperson said they don't make them because the signal wont travel that far.

sweater_vest · 3 months

I was trying to find a way to buy wine that had low sulfites. Asked the person working at the liquor store. I clarified that "organic" didn't have anything to do with sulfites.

She told me that "organic" just meant that no animal products were used. Seemed stumped when I asked how that worked with "organic" beef.

JaronK · 3 months

I had someone claim that the food they were selling could not possibly give anyone any allergies, because it was all natural, and only artificial stuff gives you allergic reactions. What they were selling was almond brittle. I asked about people with nut allergies. She said there were no nuts in it... just almonds.

My brain hurt.

T_Sis · 3 months

"these will make your penis grow 3 inches"

Random-Miser · 3 months

While working for Dell we used to tell people that the dell computer systems run faster because they were the only computers to use Flux Capacitors. Not once were we ever called out on it.

craptaxi · 3 months

That his potato peeler would get sharper the more I used it. "So I can get an infinitely sharper blade out of this deal?" "uhh.... yes"

Tomble · 3 months

I was told that cooking with a microwave damaged the DNA of the food due to radiation. I explained non-ionizing radiation to the guy, and also how any possible radiation damage was nothing compared to the damage it would receive when it hit stomach acids, and finally that my goal when eating food was not to incorporate the DNA into my own but to digest it like other proteins.

FightingAmish · 3 months

A Blue Shirt wouldn't let me use a coupon on a 360 game because it said for Xbox 360 software only and that means "joysticks and stuff." Eventually a manager came over.

Milligan · 3 months

Wide area network over satellites. An app was sending small packets and waiting for an acknowledgement after each one. Synchronous satellites are at 24,000 miles height so a round trip takes 4 x 24000 miles, about half a second due to the speed of light limit for the radio transmission. The app was too slow.

Salesman for another satellite communications company told us that their satellites didn't have that limitation.

rhymeswithbanana · 3 months

"Honey, you need to bring a man into the shop if you don't wanna get taken for a ride." (it was a motorcycle dealer)

So wait... are you straight-up telling me that you are currently taking me for a ride?

Smashing sales technique!

jusu · 3 months

Greenpeace activist telling me that nuclear power causes both global warming and the ozone hole over the Arctic and Antarctic.

I could not even start arguing, she was so clueless.

socrates114 · 3 months

a guy from Rent-a-center told me the ps2 could also play xbox games

EDIT: Guys I was like 11 ( im 21 now)haha it was in the heyday of the ps2/gamecube/xbox generation. I just went in while my mom shopped in the plaza it was in. Ta

solskjaer · 3 months

A stripper once told me I was really handsome.

zippyajohn · 3 months

"So why do you want a gym membership?"

"Well I need to lose weight for school(flight school)"

"There is no way you can lose weight without a personal trainer!"

I went from 235 to 185. That gentleman was fired before I could go rub it in his face.

Lampmonster1 · 3 months

Was told by a salesmen trying to sell me a extended warranty on a $150 television "This is what I recommend to all my customers."

Which is fine except that he was wearing a trainee name tag. "So, like four people?"

Stratisphear · 3 months

That 0.01 dollars equals 0.01 cents.

Rorkimaru · 3 months

Best one I have is what I was told in computer class as a kid; "DVDs have more storage than CDs because they write on both sides."

3 months

[deleted]

vearson26 · 3 months

Last time I went car shopping, salesman tried to get me to buy that fast because "We got a guy coming up in the morning from out of state to buy that truck."

If that was true, that's a dick move trying to sell it out from under him.

borgconsulting · 3 months

A car salesman told me that the window sticker price is what he paid for the car, so if he wanted his kids to eat I'd have to pay more than that.

I laughed long and loud, got up, walked out, bought car someplace they don't call me an idiot to my face.

DiaperParty · 3 months

That my used car used to belong to Jon Voight.

tushka · 3 months

[deleted]

KMoneyThunder · 3 months

That I needed a $150 HDMI Cable......

chanteur8697 · 3 months

Once while buying an HDMI cable, a salesperson told me that the company selling the $600 4-foot cable used a special treatment that allowed more light to travel through the cable faster and there was more HD for the money. Without thinking about it I threw my head back and laughed at her, before seeing her look really embarassed and walk away. I almost felt bad about it. Almost.

Knight203 · 3 months

I was looking for a roll of high ISO film at a ritz camera and they keep every thing but the 100iso behind the counter so I asked him what ISO they had and he went on a 5 minute rant on how film doesn't have ISO and that its only in digital, how I must be new to photography. I walked out of the store

michaelocc · 3 months

Rogers (cellphone carrier) salesman told me I needed to get a biggger data plan for my kids' phones because "one web page could be 5GB". I told him he'd just lost the sale, explained why, and went elsewhere.

scuby22 · 3 months

I overheard a Circuit City salesman tell someone that the resolution of a monitor controlled how fast the computer was on the internet.

Bwtadpole · 3 months

This didn't happen to me, but I'm going to say it did because it sounds more interesting...

About 15 years ago, Chicago house prices were skyrocketing. We were in the process of selling our home, which is just on the other side of the city limits, about one block outside of Chicago. The real estate agent we were working with comes to us and says "Just say the house is in Chicago; you'll get a lot more money!"

Fired on the spot. Last thing you need is a police officer / fireman moving in for residency and getting sued for it.

CityPretty · 3 months

A lady at some place told me that nail buffers "pull the natural oils to the top of your nails to make them shine" or some bullshit like that

anonymousbosch · 3 months

"One size fits all."

MrDNL · 3 months

"I'm not selling my client's ad space. I'm providing value to you, the advertiser. I don't care if my client gets paid."

TophatMcMonocle · 3 months

When you can no longer trust a head shop employee to give you straight scientific answer, the end is nigh.

TheFraz311 · 3 months

I had a guitar salesman try to talk me out of buying blue steel bass strings saying that it will damage my bass. One, pretty fucking sure they won't and two, don't you ever try to talk a man out of buying something called Blue Steel.

AsoBit · 3 months

Best buy employee once tried convincing my friend that an integrated graphics card would be fine and that he needed more RAM for better graphics.

DudleyLynch · 3 months

I worked at BestBuy when I finished High School and was in College. I got fired because I would deter customers from buying the really expensive HDMI Cables, I knew that the more expensive the cable made no difference in the HD quality. After the douchey manager noticed a distinct lack of sales of the expensive HDMI cables and an increase in the cheaper ones he hunted me down and the other TV department employees rated me out. I got a lecture about how they are in the business of making money and that I shouldn't tell people that HDMI cables all do the same thing. I got a warning not to do it again but I did and got fired.

mcorrie1121 · 3 months

I had Comcast tell me I had to pay for a technician to come set up my basic cable connection. I told them it was already set up. I then told them never mind and plugged my tv straight into the wall. Whaddaya know, I get all basic channels + HD versions, fo free.

serenityveritas · 3 months

Once my boyfriend and I were at Best Buy looking at HDTVs. He's been following the development of OLED screens and while we were waiting for something and chatting with the sales lady OLEDs came up. I pointed out I didn't want to wait for them to become sufficiently large enough since that would take years. The sales lady chimed in: "Also they're organic so that means they'll die."

andrewsmith1986 · 3 months

person trying to sell me a water filter and talking about how bad our water is under the ground.

Bitch I'm a geologist.

The chicot aquifer if amazing.

Infra-fricken-green!

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