Relevant story. I made a throwaway account to tell it in order to protect the anonymity of those involved, but this is a good story, so it's worth it.

Friday night me and a buddy went over to one of our female friends' apartment to get drunk. We had straight vodka and nothing to mix it with, because we're classy as fuck. Anyway, she told us in advance that she was a lightweight, but neither of us believed her because girls just like to say that.

She takes a shot, then changes into her PJs (short shorts and a tank top). She takes another shot, goes to the bathroom to pee, and comes back without the shorts. She takes another shot, and the tank top comes off. She is now in her underwear. She takes two more shots, and her bra is gone. Neither of us two are really doing anything to stop her, being quite drunk ourselves. At the last few moments that the night was any semblance of pleasant, it was me and my buddy lying on the floor under a blanket watching a movie with her in nothing but panties squished in between us. Nobody got even remotely grabby, because she's a really good friend and both of us, even in our drunken state, knew the implications of such activities

There was one awkward moment where she climbed over my buddy to reach her phone, paused with one leg over him, and started dry humping him. He told her to stop, and then she laid back down. Then she announced she didn't feel well.

Keep in mind she only had five shots. The scene from that point on was her naked ass curled up on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. I kept having to shake her to keep her breathing, praying that she'd start vomiting, because at this point I was legitimately concerned that she had alcohol poisoning, and besides my shaking reminders for her to breathe, she was totally unresponsive. I did my best to tie her hair back in a ponytail (never done it before so I sucked at it) while my friend ran to the store to get some medicine.

She eventually started puking at about 2am. After my buddy got back from the store with the medicine, he peaced out saying he had to be up early. So now it's me sitting with my naked friend while she vomits continuously. I had broken the seal, and she was occupying the toilet, so at one point I had to pee in her shower. Keeping in mind that I am in a committed relationship with a different girl and she with a different guy, and the compromising situation I found myself in, I went to grab her a sweater. She refused the sweater ("I don't wanna get puke on itmmmphpmmph") so I got a blanket and draped it over her. The next THREE HOURS were her vomiting intermittently, and then going into states of panting heavily and then not breathing until i shook her again. At around 6am her breathing slowed down and she drifted to sleep. I woke her up and walked her to her room, she refused the bed so I laid her down on the palette of blankets and pillows we had made on the floor earlier to watch movies, and told her to go to sleep. I put a bottle of water and a bottle of ibuprofin for her to find the next morning, and left, finally, around 6:30.

What I learned from this experience? There are some people who can get seriously, over-the-edge, vomity, dangerously black-out drunk from five shots of vodka.

On Saturday I got a text around 11am: "Thank you for taking care of me last night, I'm so embarrassed. By the way, can you explain to me exactly at what point my bra came off?" lol