What's the biggest, "Shit, I'M the douchebag here," moment you've ever had?

motherofgott · 5 months

At college, there was a guy who always walked around leaned waaay back, always had headphones on, swaggered....I asked my friends one day if he really thought he was that cool.

He had polio.

devouredbylogic · 5 months

My moment was not even something I did but just sitting next to my friend who was the actual douche. Me and some friends decided we would take another one of our friends out to a movie because she had not done much since her mother had passed away about a month earlier. The movie was Shaun of the Dead. At one point when the zombies were everywhere my friend inadvertently and without thinking said wow that zombie looks like your mom. The girl immediatly burst into tears and my friend soon realized what he had done. The night did not go as planned.

dfitzy92 · 5 months

In 7th grade gym class we were playing volleyball. Teams were co-ed and randomly assigned by the gym teacher. I hated losing, and still do to this day, but i was taking the game way too seriously. There was this one girl who had her jacket sleeves over her hands and she was missing every shot. I told her to roll up her sleeves and use both hands to play. She seemed pretty offended but i didnt think too much of it.

Fast forward to the end of class; I was in the locker room talking to my friends about this girl who sucked. My friend overhears me talking, stops me and says "you know she only has one hand, right?" I look at him dumbfounded, refusing to believe that I was unaware that a girl who had been in my grade for 7 years had 1 hand. Everybody else in the locker room knew and eventually convinced me.

I have never felt like more of a douchebag than I did on that day

tl;dr I yelled at a one-handed girl for being bad at volleyball in gym class

kukamunga · 5 months

I'm a tame driver by California standards. When I moved to the Pacific Northwest: "Shit, I'M the douchebag here."

edit: I knew people around here were opinionated about drivers, but holy fuckballs.

GetLikeMe · 5 months

I have this kid in my class (let's call her Caroline) that is miraculously absent from school whenever we have a test. Her cousin is in another one of my classes and had told me that all Caroline has to do is tell her mom that she doesn't want to go to school, and the mom will let Caroline stay home for no reason whatsoever.

For the last test, Caroline told me that she would not be there for the test, and I launched into a long diatribe about how I see the pattern in absences, about how she's disrespecting me by skipping school on test days, and about how it's negatively affecting her grades.

She then told me her grandmother had died and gave me a note from her mother, excusing her from the test.

I called up her mother to potentially confront her about letting her daughter stay home when she is not sick and because the note looked really fake (sloppy handwriting, seemingly obvious forgery). Her mom is on the phone for less than a minute before she starts crying hysterically because her mom (Caroline's grandmother) had actually died. I stayed on the phone with her for thirty minutes, comforting her and offering my condolences.

TL;DR - Student always skips school on test days. Skips test because "her grandmother died." I confront the mother to find out grandmother is actually dead and cause the mother to have a complete mental breakdown.

cbh3dy · 5 months

I'm a medical student. I once had to interview a patient. Was taking a family history to get a history of genetic illnesses. He stated that his mother died of a stroke and his father had died recently, but he didn't remember what he died of. What I MEANT to say was "It's ok that you don't remember. I'm sorry for your loss."

What came out of my mouth was "It's not a big deal". My attending pretty much threw me out of the room.

let_there_be_pie · 5 months

I cant think of one for me, but the first thing I thought of was this guys "Don't be a douchebag" (not his actual words) speech I listened to in High School. I was in JROTC at the time and we had a visiting Major (I think, but we'll call him a Lieutenant for the story) for our yearly district meeting. He was talking about how much of an asshole he was after he graduated from West Point. Full of a great deal of self importance and power mad over the fact that he was an officer and could make lower ranks do whatever the hell he wanted.

One day he was walking across a lawn on base and a Private walked right pass him, he had his cap off (you're supposed to wear one when outside), and worst of all he didn't salute (which he was supposed to). The Lieutenant got pissed off and started chewing him out in the middle of a high traffic area and after getting chewed out he made him do push ups, more chewing out and more push ups. When the Private started crying it just got worse.

At this point in the story the Lieutenant told us he didn't really think the guy walking by him was that big of a deal, but he wanted to humiliate the guy anyway. So he's there chewing out a guy a couple years younger then him, and the guys bawling his eyes out, when the Lieutenant noticed another officer walking straight for him. Thinking the other officer wanted to talk to him the Lieutenant lets the Private go and the Private hurries over to one of the building on the other side of the lawn.

When the other officer caught up to the Lieutenant he started chewing the Lieutenant out asking him what the hell his problem was to blow something like that so out of proportion. The officer eventually told him that the private was rushing to his barracks in order to pack his bags for bereavement leave, a couple of minutes before walking across the lawn that officer had to break the news to the private that his mother had passed away.

tl;dr this guy gave a speech about how he humiliated some kid over something inconsequential only to later find out he humiliated the kid right after he was told his mother died.

ETA reading some of the comments I'm beginning to realize I should have cleared up something. The majority of us who were at the yearly meeting were our schools JROTC staff members, about 80% of us were seniors and juniors, and a good chunk of us had plans to join the military, some as officers, some as nco's. The major gave that speech as a cautionary tale regardless of what we had planed to do after graduating. He didn't want any of us to make the same mistakes he did, that incident affected his whole career and he would think about it whenever he dealt with lower ranks. He knew he screwed up, he knew he was an asshole, he apologized to the kid, but even though he regretted what happened he knew it was a learning experience and a humbling moment, it made him a better officer and a ultimately a better person. He ended the story by telling us that, looking back, he was somewhat frightened when he thinks about how it could have turned out, what if the ending weren't the same and the kids mother hadn't died, and him as a young Lieutenant never had his ass handed back to him, would his ego have just gotten worse? Bottom line is, he was glad it happened the way it did since he knew it could have been worse, he could have continued on the way he was.

becuzimbrown · 5 months

My 21st birthday, about 10 shots in. We're crossing the quad at our school at night to go to the bar down the street and there's a candlelight vigil. I had no idea what it was at the time and drunkinly scream out "NICE IS THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!?!?!"

I'm the douchebag here.

Malcx · 5 months

Loudly complained to my girlfriend at the time about the rude bitch that pushed in front of us in a queue. "Damn some people are so self centered, didn't she fucking see us?"

No in fact she didn't. She was blind.

fintorro · 5 months

I had a 3000 word essay to write up for school. It was last minute and I had spent a good few hours working on it. I went for a toilet break, came back and found this new kid, a chubby Asian fella, sat at the computer I was sat at, playing computer games. I ran up, pushed him off and found he had crossed off my work which I hadn't saved (and yes, it's my own stupid fucking fault for not saving). I flipped, started screaming at this guy, pushing him and telling him he was a fucking moron and threatening to beat the shit out of him, he looked very scared and confused. Later that day I was pulled into the head teachers office, and asked why I flipped out. I explained the situation, feeling that I was justified. Turns out he was heavily autistic. Fuck. Just screamed/pushed around a handicapped kid. What a fucking asshole. He had the best name ever too. Chinese students often pick their own "english" names when studying abroad, he chose "Sunny Nice".

ILikeMyBlueEyes · 5 months

A coworker telling me that another coworker just left because she recieved news that her brother committed suicide. I said "And how long is she going to be out?" in a snotty tone. Seriously, the "brother comitted suicide" didn't register in my brain yet and I asked that question like it was such a HUGE inconvenience because we all now had to take on some of her shifts. Yeah.......I got some shocking stares from everyone. THEN I realized what I said.

badillin · 5 months

I was AT a bar and the TV was airing the news.

we couldnt hear anything, but an image of a kid with a wrestler (Luchador) mask and another kid with bandages on his head and body appeared on screen, and i yelled something like "WOAH Watch out for Mascarita Sagrada and the Mummy"... then a wild text appeared on the bottom of the screen that read. "Burnt Kids Ward Talk About Being Burnt on 95% of their body And Losing Their Parents to a Fire" or something like that...

I felt like a douchebag and everyone else agreed.

edit: i was AT a bar not on it :)

mongster2 · 5 months

I ride public transit to school every day, and my backpack is always stuffed with books. My personal bubble doesn't include my backpack though, and for a full year I was unaware that when the bus was really crowded, I would be mercilessly swinging it into other people's personal space. One day, a really old man informed me that I was inconveniencing a young lady behind me. I told him the bus was crowded for everybody, and asked him what he would have me do. He said, verbatim, "Put it on the ground, you fucking idiot." This guy must have been 90 years old. That's when I knew I was the bad guy.

40dollarsharkblimp · 5 months

Every time I get into an argument on Reddit and realize halfway through that I'm arguing on Reddit.

toverbury · 5 months

In my early twenties, I got engaged to my high school sweetheart of 7 years. At one point she developed skin cancer on her arm, which she managed to hide from me for a couple of years until she finally went to a doctor and was diagnosed. Then one day out of the blue, she breaks off the engagement and tells me I need to move on. Well, I more than moved on, I started banging everything that moved and even ended up in a threesome. A couple of months later she calls and says we need to talk, and I'm pretty sure she's getting ready to beg me to come back to her. So I go to her house and she's in a wig and her face is clearly bloated from chemo treatment. Before she can say much more than, "It's no big deal, I'll be fine", I put on the macho act and tell her how great life has been, even to the point of telling her about my threesome. She begs me to stay the night but I brush her off hoping to make her regret leaving me. I didn't see her again until a month later when her mom called and told me she was in palliative care. I rushed to the hospital, but she was already in a coma and died the next morning in my arms. I watched her take her last breath, knowing she left this world thinking I was the biggest douche on the planet.
Her sister told me later that she was planning to tell me that night she called me over, that the cancer had spread to her brain and she was dying. 16 years later and I still can't forgive myself.

selfproclaimedfreak · 5 months

We had some items go missing around the house, so it was decided that we should change the locks. (There had been a few break-ins in the neighbourhood) When the our cleaning lady came the next week her key obviously didn't work and I had to go get the door for her. It was about 8 am and I had just woken up. She says, "I thought you all changed the locks on me hahahaha." I reply with a deadpan, "We did." and walked away. Took me about 5 minutes to realise how douche-y that sounded and felt like a total tool

shawn_diggidy · 5 months

In high school, can't remember the context. Me being sarcastic: "What, does your dad have leukemia or something?" Her dad had leukemia. :(

AerieC · 5 months

It was winter (i.e. snow all over the roads), and I was driving behind some guy in a big SUV. As we come up to a red light, he moves into the right turn lane, and I continue in the "straight ahead" lane.

When the light turns green, he doesn't turn, and instead keeps going straight ahead and I almost run into him as he drifts in to my lane. So of course, I honk and give him the finger.

A day or two later, the snow on the roads melted, and I noticed that the turning lane he was in was not actually a turning lane, it was another "go straight ahead" lane, and I had actually drifted into his lane (thinking it was my lane), honked at him, and gave him the finger.

Yeah, I felt like a pretty big ass after that one.

TLDR: I drifted into another lane and honked/flipped off an innocent guy due to my own stupidity.

pr0crastin8or · 5 months

My cousins gf told me she was adopted and I thought I'd call her bluff. I took her cell phone and called her mom...who informed me she was actually her adoptive mom. My cousin later told me her biological mom was murdered by her bf when she was a baby.

I bought her an Ipad.

phouck · 5 months

After about season 3 of House I would randomly say "It's never lupus" in conversation... until a friend chimed in with "my mom has lupus". Thought of defending my situation and decided to just apologize instead.

imeanareyouforreal · 5 months

I moved my newspaper.. and discovered my tin of biscuits, unopened! It was the other man's tin of biscuits the whole time!

cawkstrangla · 5 months

I was going to the movies with my (now ex) girlfriend in college. I think it was one of the Harry Potter movies. The kid at the ticket booth was a very tall, slim, acne afflicted, ginger nerd. Now I'm a nerd myself, so I harbor no ill will towards him for his appearance, but this was my impression of him.

My girlfriend was looking through her purse as I asked the kid for two tickets, to which he replied "Uh, that'll be 18 dollars" in a very nasally nerd voice. Unfortunately for him, I have this awful habit of imitating any weird or funny noise as soon as I hear it, but usually only in my head.

For some reason the filter just wasn't there and I immediately imitated him right in front of his face saying "That'll be 18 dollars" in an exaggerated nerdy, nasal tone. There was a good 5-10 seconds of silence as we both stared into each other's eyes. I will never forget the look on his face. I crushed him and we both knew it.

I grabbed the tickets from his hand, thanked him, grabbed my girlfriend's arm and got the fuck out of there. I was completely ashamed of myself. My girlfriend never noticed.

megamoose4 · 5 months

driving my car thru a parking lot after work, and a group of young skateboarders are headed at me. 3 got to the left, 2 go to the right one of them falls and his board shoots under my car. I ran that shit over and snapped it in half, I looked back, he threw up his arms, then I just kept driving.

bassticle · 5 months

Went to a guy's house to jam with a band, hadn't met him before, and his daughter kept coming to ask me if I wanted to "play with the babies" in this really annoying, unique way. After about the 20th time I began to grow tired of it and I told her I didn't want to play in a tone kind of mocking how she had been asking me. He then said with a complete stone-cold killer serious face, "She has (some mental disability that I can't remember). I think you should probably make her happy and play with the babies."

So I played with the babies and avoided eye contact with him for a while.

spartancavie · 5 months

Oh, I got this one. Probably too late to get views.

I coach a college team and one of my player's (call him Steve) invited me to a reception at his house last Sunday because his mother passed away. This kid is 18, a freshman, and has to deal with the death of his mother in the first year of college. I feel terrible and want to help in any way so of course I'm going to this reception for support. His mother fought lung cancer for the last few months and died last week.

We're at his house and there's about 50 people all standing around talking and I'm standing in a circle of 4 other players on the same team. Steve comes over we can tell he's had a rough day of 'thanking people for coming'. He's surprisingly optimistic, and I can tell he's trying not to get too down. We're trying to stay positive, telling jokes and interesting stories, talking about how big his house is, and how he has this awesome fireplace.

Then one of the player's coughs this terrible cough. He's been sick for a few days and coughs up all this gross phlegm. Sick kid says, "I hate that I have this stupid cough that won't go away." To which I respond, "That sounds more like cancer."

I FUCKING MADE A CANCER JOKE IN FRONT OF AN 18yr KID WHOSE MOM JUST DIED OF LUNG CANCER. I felt terrible.

IrememberThat · 5 months

I was playing foosball at a bar, been winning and drinking all night. I'm playing forward. A new team comes in, the game starts and I get the ball to attack, stopping the ball ready for a skill shot. I look up, to see the other guy holding only the goalkeeper bar. This conversation followed:

"C'mon, grab both bars, you're making this too easy!"

"I'm good man, carry on".

"Seriousy, have you seen me play before? I've been scoring all night! Grab both bars or I'll score anyways!"

"I would if I could. Just play."

" What do you mean - Oh"

He had no right arm.

edit: I accidentally a word.

drivebyjustin · 5 months

[deleted]

tkfu · 5 months

I was riding my bike towards downtown, in a bike lane, when this big fat dude just steps right out in front of me, making me swerve at the last minute. I hate it when people do this; if you look both ways before you cross the street you should friggin' look both ways before you cross the bike path. So, since he almost caused a crash, I turn back, and shout:

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCK-- [suddenly realize that said big fat dude is in fact a little old lady all bundled up in a huge coat, right in front of an assisted living home, crossing the bike path to get to the handicapped van with the open door waiting for her] --ing...go......ing."

There's no coming back from that, so I just kept on riding and felt like the shitty douchebag I was.

zisforzebra · 5 months

I was late for school one day, and it was really snowy and cold out and I was in a hurry. It was an important lecture that i really didn't want to be late for. On my way to school I passed a girl in a wheelchair stuck in a pile of slush and couldn't get out. She was just sitting there struggling in the cold. But I ignored her pleas because I didn't want to be late for class. I regret that decision.

corduroy · 5 months

I've typed it here before... but I think it deserves me reposting it.

I was at a restaurant with my mom and brother. I was sitting just opposite of them in a booth, right between two other families, and had just placed our order. I started hearing something ... electronic... coming from behind me. Do you remember those 80s toys, speak and spells? It sounded like that. It just kept going on and on with that electric voice. Here I am, trying to eat with my family and some damn kid behind me just won't let up.

I started to loudly exclaim how annoying it was to listen to that while eating. How maybe... kids shouldn't be playing at the table, especially in a packed restaurant.

It worked! Family behind me got up and moved to a different table. As they were passing our table I see an older gentleman with some type of neck wrap hold something up to his neck. In an electronic raspy voice he said to his family about going to that table up there. It was his electrolarynx... probably fresh from the hospital.

I felt like the BIGGEST douchebag ever. I couldn't eat my food because I felt so bad.

5 months

[deleted]

Jmersh · 5 months

19 yrs old working at Best Buy. Christmas week. Hanging out at the front LP (security) desk next to one of the security guys. My eye catches a lady waddling towards the door/us. Easily 400+ lbs. And dragging an oxygen tank. I say, "If I ever get so fat I need oxygen, I hope somebody shoots me in my sleep." I go silent as she gets within earshot. Coworker next to me says, "Hi mom."

HillDrag0n · 5 months

This.
http://i.imgur.com/1CgVP.jpg

muerte-morty · 5 months

I was 20, at a party. I saw this girl that I remembered have a good time chatting with at a previous party about 9 mos. earlier. I was trying to be smooth and all, and I mentioned I remembered her car, an early 70's Corvette Stingray. She said she didn't have it anymore. I asked what happened. She just said she had an accident.

Without realizing how reluctant she had become at answering these questions, I pressed her for details. Turns out she had struck an 8-y.o. boy and killed him. It was in no way her fault, but she was understandably shaken very deeply by the whole experience.

Wow, I felt bad. I was trying to be cheerful and engaging with this pretty girl at a party, and in about five minutes...I had managed to set a new standard of regret to challenge myself with at all the social events I attend for the rest of my life.

R3volu7ion · 5 months

I got this one... So during the summer I was trying to rent a storage unit somewhere in south east Tennessee. At the time I needed a climate controlled unit to keep my stuff safe from the summer heat. I drive to one storage place... no vacancies, another... same story. Finally, I find one with like 2 open units. I meet with the owner who happens to be filling for the manager who's not there. As I'm signing the paperwork I'm making small talk about how I can't find any good storage unit places. The owner tells me that after those 300 or so tornadoes hit TN everyone was putting their shit in storage. I make a quick jab about how societies bad fortune is his good fortune when he tells me that the manager who was supposed to be working was killed in the tornadoes.

sarcelle · 5 months

This is the thread that ends my lurkerdom and makes me create an account.

I was 20 years old, at my friends having a party with about 10 other kids. He lived at his parents in the burbs in LA so it was a quiet neighborhood. We were all really fairly hammered and I was sitting on the sidewalk smoking a joint at about 11pm when two really hot girls walked by. The neighborhood was dead quiet so seeing anyone walking was a shock, let alone two superbabes. We didn't have any booze with us on the sidewalk and had just put the joint out.

So I kicked some sidewalk game as they walked by and got them to stop and talk to me and my buddy. Turned out they were going to a party of their friends up the hill and invited us.

Us, "Okay can we bring some friends?"

Them, "Yeah sure, we're a little late so we're going to walk on but it's the 4th left and then the red house."

Us, "Cool, let me get my friends and we'll be right behind you."

So we go inside and sound the hot babes party alarm. It's all hands on deck as everyone stuffs their pockets with beers, handles, flasks, an open case of beer. We were probably rolling with about $300 worth of booze on us. So we went outside and towards the party. The girls were just going in the house as we turned the corner. Looked like a lot of fun; loud music, people on the lawn smoking cigs. Noticed there were some older folks there, but they seemed chill so whatever let's party.

I'm blatantly the most hammered one in our group and talking all kinds of shit about taking one of the girls down. So we roll up and everyone seems friendly but a bit off put by us. A couple friends get weird and hang on the lawn feeling shit out for a sec. I thought okay fuck those pussies, I'm going in. I get a few more weird looks, it's just me and 3 buddies now. Really weird mix of people there. There's like white, black folks...asians...old...young...ok, whatever, let's get our UN party on. My friends keep getting weird looks as they pulled their flasks out so they hang in the living room, which is emptyish. I charge on, determined to explore the party and find these girls...there's music, lights, everyone dancing...but they seem. Sober.

I start offering everyone beers from my pocket...ask if they want some whiskey from my flask...no one even responds. They just look at me. Some angry...some shocked...some looked scared, some looked at the flask like a cartoon lion looks at a steak, but none accepted. It was so fucking bizarre. I thought okay fuck you guys I'm going to find the keg and those hot girls. My drunk ass is high fiving people, dancing my way through crowds, cracking jokes as I fight to the back of the house, where I find the keg. START EDIT I don't remember if I got it from a keg or what, just that I ended up with a solo cup full of drank END EDIT Sweet. I roll up and grab a solo cup, fill the thing to the brim. Nice, now let's find those girls.

At this point the music is noticeably quieter and everyone has sort of stopped talking and dancing and is just watching my drunk ass roll through their party, smashing my beers and offering people booze from my flask. Their response was the definition of disbelief. I still haven't drank from the solo cup.

I find the girls and crack a joke about them being hard to find. They smile awkwardly. I think oh...ok, this will take some work I guess. I take a sip of the solo cup. It's apple juice. INSTANTLY, I UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING. I AM AT AN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS PARTY.

I excuse myself and am trying to find my way out of the house, my friends nowhere to be seen. I notice now that an old angry lumberjack looking redneck and a 20-something black kid, who is about 6'5, start following me through the house. They, under any normal circumstances, should not have been friends. But they were thick as thieves and glaring holes into my head. I finally found the door and my friends are all gone except one standing in the street who motions for me to get the fuck on, so i go and like 8 guys circle me on the lawn before i can even start to explain myself. I'm thinking the stomping of my life is coming from a bunch of AA members when one of the girls runs out and explains that we didn't know where they were taking us, etc. Most the dudes disband, a few hang and clearly want to kick my ribs in. A few stay and CLEARLY want the booze in my pockets, they invite me to stay and hang out and i politely decline and make a hasty exit back to my friends house.

tl;dr - Unknowingly crashed an AA party with 10 drunk kids, pockets full of beers, open cases and flasks, offering them to everyone at the party.

Epilogue - The girl turned out to be friends with my buddys little brother and we linked up for a late night hot tub. Thumbs up k9.

GCNerd · 5 months

I've got a couple, but after reading this thread, I don't know if they're worthy to be on here...

I went to Orlando with a few friends after undergrad for summer vacation. We're all Canadian, so we exchanged our cash for some USD before boarding the plane. I had primarily 20s and 50s for some reason, but I figured that I'd end up breaking them pretty easily after going to restaurants, checking out Universal Studios, and buying tourist crap. On the first day we were there, we decided to walk to a restaurant down the street from our hotel. At that point, I hadn't had a chance to break any of my large bills. Right at the entrance of the restaurant was a homeless guy who approached me and asked, "Can you spare any change?" Without thinking, I said, "Sorry, I only have large bills," and he replied, "Must be nice". It was so awkward and I felt like such an asshole for it.
My boss was diagnosed with cancer back in July. He went through chemo and worked from home, so it seemed like things were going to be okay. Back in October, he emailed me to let me know that he was in the hospital under palliative care and would like visitors. I went there as soon as I heard, but not before stopping picking up a few things. I picked up some flowers, some ginger snap cookies from Ikea (it's his favourite store, but we don't have any in the city we're working in now), a box of chocolates, and a magnet that says, "When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate". When I got to his room, I saw he was hooked up to a bunch of machines and had tubes coming out of him from every direction. I handed him my gift bag of goodies and he said, "Thanks, but my stomach doesn't work, so I can't eat anything anymore." He had pancreatic cancer that had spread throughout his GI system, so he had a catheter. I should've asked the nurse beforehand.

tl;dr - I told a homeless man I had too much money, so I wouldn't give him any; my boss was dying and couldn't eat solids and I brought him food.

Edited for formatting

eightbitrob · 5 months

Woke up to go to class. Checked my email real quick and it just said due to the recent news all classes today have been canceled. Rather than actually take the 2 seconds to find out what the news was first thing I did was call my friend and said "dude classes are all cancelled lets get fucked up on a Tuesday for no reason.

Date: Sept 11 2001

DivineLeo · 5 months

During my senior year in high school, one of my female friends got pregnant. In her later months, after a theatre performance, everyone was gathered around in awe of her preggerous appearance. When I approached, the baby kicked. Everyone was making the typical "Oh, he's gonna be a soccer/football player" comment so I decided to pipe in with a "Suddenly the baby is not white, father is gonna be pissed" kind of joke.

"Oh, maybe the baby will be a basketball player." Suddenly everyone's looking at me attentively as to WHY I think the baby is going to be a basketball player.

Suddenly Poker Face. At that very moment, I remembered that two of the potential fathers were black, and I was looking like a REAL cunt. I quickly came up with that lame response, "Because he'll dribble"

Hah. Dribble. Basketball. Drooling. Funny.

I looked like a real asshat, and everyone thought that I was insinuating how she slept around, and to be later confronted by her peers on how much of a lame, witless D-bag I was.

exo10 · 5 months

Guitar at a party. I was that guy.

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