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[–]lonnko 174 points175 points ago

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My mom still believes that me installing The Sims gave our computers viruses when I was younger.

"All I know is the computer was working fine until lonnko put The Sims on it."

[–]arichi 33 points34 points ago

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Is she right?
I don't mean about the virus.
I mean, is it all she knows?

[–]AuroraX 6 points7 points ago

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My dad believes that Facebook is the cause of all viruses on the family computer. He then proceeds to block my sisters from Facebook for a couple days. I've tried bringing to his attention that is most certainly LimeWire that is causing his viruses, and not Facebook---but he refuses to see reason.

[–]Xeroshifter 238 points239 points ago

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This may take a moment to explain: When a friend and I are at a restaurant and then he hands me money to cover his share, and I then pay for it with my debt card so that we dont have 2 forms of payment on the same bill, he somehow believes that I've taken his money, and that now I owe him that money.

SOMEHOW he doesn't understand that his money just goes into my account later, and that he was correctly reimbursing me for his share of the bill.

[–]LikesMoonPies 358 points359 points ago

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Reverse the process

  1. Get him to pay by card
  2. Hand him cash for your share
  3. Harass him 'til he gives money back
  4. Enjoy Free Food

Give money to charity so you don't go to hell for exploiting the mentally challenged

[–]Carl262 84 points85 points ago

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I used to have a similar experiences whenever a certain friend owed me money. Went something like this: say the friend owed me $20. Later we're going out to eat, total bill is around $20 (we each had a $10 meal). Friend says, "Since I owe you $20, I'll buy. Then we're even."

...Uhhhhhh...

[–]cokevirgin 14 points15 points ago

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lol cashier scam

[–]HipstersaurusRex 50 points51 points ago

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how can you not explain it to him?

[–]farmersam 100 points101 points ago

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His friend is 5. That's the only way I can think of

[–]FlyingUndeadSheep 112 points113 points ago

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His friend is a potato.

[–]Hougaiidesu 29 points30 points ago

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ROFL. This is hilarious because I keep imagining him slowly handing you some money, but all the while glaring at you through narrowed eyes, like you're up to something, and then later, he's like... hey... you took my money! You tricked me!

[–]bshine[S] 67 points68 points ago

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Really? How does he think his meal was paid for?

[–]BeMoreCareful 32 points33 points ago

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don't check his credit

[–]stevenlss1 50 points51 points ago*

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time for new friends...

edit- typo

[–]kasperbk 92 points93 points ago

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I had a friend in HS who believed that pink lemonade came from pink lemons. And that Santa gave the 3 wise men the presents to give to baby Jesus.

[–]spyxero 66 points67 points ago

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I don't care, I am now a firm believer that Santa did this. How much cooler is the nativity now?

[–]ChicagoBurdman 43 points44 points ago

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I think it goes deeper than that. Santa probably brought the presents and the wise men probably just wrote their names on the card.

[–][deleted] 308 points309 points ago

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My dad thinks that any browser that isn't Explorer is full of viruses & will slow down your computer.

[–]Browncoat23 87 points88 points ago

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My dad still uses AOL. He has Verizon Fios, yet he still actually signs into AOL before doing anything online.

[–]SuicydKing 88 points89 points ago

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Change the IE shortcut to point to Chrome. Tell him it's the latest security update for IE.

[–]BrainWav 52 points53 points ago

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I did this with my grandparents, though I told them it was a new browser. Changing the icon to IE's made it easier for them to adapt though.

[–]bshine[S] 144 points145 points ago

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That's ALL parents.

bshine, I think my computer has the chrome virus!

[–]aurum48 60 points61 points ago

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I'm proud to say that my dad uses and swears only by Chrome. The sad part is that he started using it a year before I did.

[–]etothepowerof3 74 points75 points ago

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One of my most "is this real life?" moments involved Chrome. I live in Pittsburgh in a pretty proud-to-be-ignorant neighborhood. One day I walked down an alley past two 'yinzer' women (think middle-aged chain-smoking, Franzia-pounding women in Steelers jerseys) who were discussing the security benefits of Chrome versus Firefox and which one allowed better addons for safer browsing. I had to stop and process this for a minute before continuing on with big, goofy grin on my face.

[–]lovezoe 14 points15 points ago

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I'm envious as I know and loathe said yinzers.

[–]TheWringer 214 points215 points ago

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My sister firmly believed that the pacific was the only salty ocean. She also believed that the oceans had no bottom, and simply met up with oceans on the other side of the world.

My sister is not a smart girl.

[–]bryanisfly 188 points189 points ago

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She also believed that the oceans had no bottom, and simply met up with oceans on the other side of the world.

Dumb aside, this is an enormously cool concept.

[–]ingredient_mosteroid 33 points34 points ago

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Naboo.

[–]OxN 11 points12 points ago

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Whelp... now you've ruined it again...

[–]Neophyte12 140 points141 points ago

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your last line reminded me of this

[–]swolleneyes 67 points68 points ago

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Had a friend who kept sending money to a Nigerian prince despite all our efforts to convince him otherwise. We sent him to the FBI web page that described the exact scam he fell for verbatim but he convinced himself his Nigerian prince was legit. Even started shopping for a house and looking at expensive car dealerships in anticipation of his windfall.

[–]toasterbot 40 points41 points ago

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Never underestimate the power of denial.

[–]tschris 252 points253 points ago

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My uncle claims that he knows "people that would be dead today if they had been wearing their seat belts." He is so against seat belts that he chastises his children and grandchildren for wearing them.

[–]redditor85 163 points164 points ago

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My dad was a cop who worked fatality accidents. He told me once that he never had to unbuckle a dead body unless a tree, truck, or train were involved. You just can't beat the "Three T's."

Edit: He also said there were many times they had to look for the body, only to find pieces scattered around a pole or tree.

[–]bobula13 95 points96 points ago

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I've sent a decent amount of time around EMTs.

Almost every single one of them has told me that they've never had to unbuckle someone. Either you weren't wearing it, or you could unbuckle it yourself.

[–]ICantSeeIt 87 points88 points ago

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I lost two friends because they weren't wearing their seat belts when their parents' van's front axle snapped and the vehicle started to roll while they were on the Interstate (on their way to fucking Disney World...). There were 4 people in the back not wearing seat belts (three of my friends, all brothers, and their grandma), and their mom and dad in the front wearing set belts.

When the van rolled the four in the back got thrown out, two of the brothers and their grandma died instantly, and the third brother was rushed to the hospital and stayed in the ICU for a week. He only found out his brothers were dead when he got out. The parents, in front wearing seat belts, walked away completely unharmed.

When people ride with me they wear their fucking seat belts.

[–]makingplansfornigel 80 points81 points ago

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Seatbelts did kill my great-grandparents. Old, static seatbelts caused a lot of whiplash deaths. But we're talking seatbelts from the 1960s. Today's belts dramatically improve your odds of surviving an accident.

[–]futurelibrarian 104 points105 points ago

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There are probably rare times when wearing a seatbelt is why they died. It is definitely not the norm though.

[–]GCanuck 103 points104 points ago

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A seatbelt almost killed my grandmother. Of course, if she wasn't waering it, she'd've been tossed from the car as it crash and ended up 100 meters away on the pavement.

It's still safer to wear them.

[–]unwarrantedadvice 48 points49 points ago

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My father-in-law was rear-ended (he was completely stopped, other car was going about 60 according to the police report). The back of his car flipped up and the front end hit another car head on, causing his car to completely flip over and land on top of the other car- causing the ceiling to collapse.

It was one rare time that he didn't wear a seat belt, he was thrown from the car and while he suffered brain trauma that would require three surgeries, he is still very much alive.

The police theorized that if he had been wearing his seat belt he would have remained in the car and been crushed.

99% of the time wearing a seat belt will save your life. My father-in-law is the 1%.

He still wears his seat belt now though, so it didn't convince him that seat belts kill.

[–]pookadooka 27 points28 points ago

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Occupy your father-in-law?

[–]unwarrantedadvice 23 points24 points ago

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You can try, but he has a fetish for medieval weaponry so things could get a little dicey.

[–]BluLobster 15 points16 points ago

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Back in the day, my grandfather was able to dodge a truck that smashed into the driver's side of his car by jumping into the passenger seat. I don't think that car even had seat belts, and my grandmother has used it ever since as evidence that seat belts are evil. Of course, she is conveniently ignoring the fact that my grandfather wore seat belts once they became standard in cars. I'm sure statistically, you're more likely to get into an accident where a seat belt would save you then one where you would be able to dodge the car.

[–]starlinguk 9 points10 points ago

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Your dad should have a chat to my ex dad in law, who is an ambulance driver. He once described in detail what it looks like after your face has gone through a windscreen.

[–]Mikecom32 61 points62 points ago

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I hate when someone says "So and so was in a horrible car accident, and the cop said he would have died if he was wearing a seatbelt!"

Yeah, okay, Mr. Physicist gone traffic cop.

[–]yesukai 21 points22 points ago

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Hell, I know people that would be dead today if they had been wearing their seat belts. It happens. Just not as often as people get saved by them.

[–]jooes 367 points368 points ago

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That the beeping you hear microwaves make when they're finished isn't to signal that they've finished cooking, but rather that it's the "cooldown" of radiation. And if you were to open the door before the beeping stops, you're subjecting yourself to massive amounts of radiation.

[–]ovelent 314 points315 points ago

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I forgot what the title of this topic was for a moment and thought I wandered into a FACT thread and got freaked out for a moment there. Then I felt silly for believing that if only for a moment.

[–]omers 53 points54 points ago

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I actually heard this when I was younger. Opening the door however disables the cavity magnetron and either way the radiation produced by a microwave oven is non-ionizing. Which means it does not have the cancer risks associated with ionizing radiation from things like X-rays.

[–]unifawn 54 points55 points ago

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That sounds dystopian sci-fi cool. I may start telling people that just to make my universe more interesting when I'm living off spaghettios eating my feelings. ;)

[–]Retsyn 13 points14 points ago

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And people who believe this never question why the door does not lock.

[–]Fruitality 27 points28 points ago

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I literally just got home from a friend's house who freaked out when I opened the microwave at 1 second because of this. I gave her the 'Are you fucking kidding me?' face and called her stupid.

That was the first time I'd ever heard of it.

[–]oh_okay_ 151 points152 points ago

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My dad used to drive drunk - his reasoning? So many bad things had already happened to him that God wouldn't be so bold as to let harm come to him again. Fucking serious.

[–]arichi 108 points109 points ago

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When I was in high school, there was a road where kids liked to drag race (often drunk and/or high). It was well known that an average of three kids from our high school died each year on that road.
Junior year, three kids died in accidents on it first week of school (two were drag racing, one was unrelated).
Many students believed the road was now safe for the year, having taken its three already.

[–]The_Comma_Splicer 44 points45 points ago

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Whenever someone buys a new car, they're always worried about that first dent, ding, or scuff to happen to the car. I once heard of a guy who, after he bought a new car, took a baseball bat to his side mirror in order to "get the first one out of the way."

[–]dude187 70 points71 points ago

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At least that guy doesn't believe that he is preventing more dents by doing that, just preventing himself from feeling the stress of waiting for it.

The second one isn't bad, you've already got one dent so who cares? Waiting for that first one though is much more nerve-racking because then suddenly the car goes from pristine to imperfect. This way he saves himself the anxiety he will feel waiting on the first dent, knowing they are inevitable.

[–]Ikasatu 10 points11 points ago

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The road later spat out the bones, rumbling a barely audible "delicious..."

[–]Uncle-Dads-Whistle 39 points40 points ago

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He's never heard of Job, has he?

[–]faceplanted 11 points12 points ago

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In this economic climate? of course not.

[–]Jomanji 5 points6 points ago

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Regardless of one's religious beliefs, there are a few characters in the bible that had it much worse than whatever your dad went through. Did you ever point that out?

[–]Narissis 22 points23 points ago

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Did you remind him that he's talking about a deity who is said to have once flooded the world to exterminate the entire human race less his select few chosen ones?

[–]Liar_tuck 214 points215 points ago

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I have an acquaintance who believes that black people have an extra muscle in their legs. Which is why "They run faster". Apparently his track coach told him this 25 years ago and he still thinks this is perfectly logical.

[–]E-Step 213 points214 points ago

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Apparently it also stops them swimming well.

[–]Zeroe 62 points63 points ago

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Actually, both the tendencies to run better and swim poorer have to do with a tendency toward a lower center of gravity (not penis joke). Lemme fish around a bit for a source.

Source: Telegraph.co.uk

Edit: I have no idea how reputable this source is, but it agrees with what I'm saying, so it suits my needs for now. A quick Google search will provide more.

[–]Kaniget 25 points26 points ago

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There is more variation between humans in Africa than in the rest of the world combined (or so I've read). There may be groups with more fast twitch muscles, but there's almost certainly also groups with less fast twitch muscles than the average person of European descent. Note that marathon runners are from a certain small section of Africa, while sprinters are from a different part of Africa.

[–]Rivallen 41 points42 points ago

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my dad refuses to set his widescreen television to the correct aspect ratio and watches everything in 4:3. (resulting in much being cut off due to zooming.) everytime i try to fix it he will change it back claiming that all the sport stars do not seem burly enough.

[–]redditfakeyjake 335 points336 points ago

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That it makes sense to take out massive loans to go to college and then skip class, sleep in class, and generally do a half assed job.

[–]farmersam 262 points263 points ago

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Hey, I resemble that remark

[–]Arrant 145 points146 points ago

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And then complain that "college is a scam!"

[–]arichi 11 points12 points ago

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I often wonder how many of the people who claim that college is a scam (or isn't worth it) did poorly in college (or didn't go). Maybe it's just my friends circle, but I know someone who makes good money off a job she got from her Art History degree (no, she's not an art history professor).

[–]PlatypusPuncher 106 points107 points ago

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Ha, I'll show you. I get paid to skip class, sleep in class, and generally do a halfassed job. Wait, no I don't. I busted my ass to get a scholarship and I'm going to use every dollar of it by going to class, getting good grades, and doing the best that I can.

[–]Retsyn 61 points62 points ago

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Upvotes for being better than me. (not sarcasm, literally better than me.)

[–]mrc1ark 33 points34 points ago

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My grandmother (lives in TX) thinks that Mexico is going to invade the US and that all the illegal immigrants are coming over so that when the invasion starts cities like San Antonio/El Paso/ any city with high Hispanic population will just flip allegiance to Mexico.

[–]afronaut 179 points180 points ago

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I have a friend who thinks Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are two different people.

[–]futurelibrarian 237 points238 points ago

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Dude. Spoilers much? I just get around to starting the TV show and you ruin the surprise before I'm a minute in. I hate you.

[–]Legoandsprit 24 points25 points ago

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I know, I hate this guy.

[–]SlightlyAmbiguous 45 points46 points ago

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But the two different hair colors...? Eh, we'll leave this one as unsolved for now.

[–]HAMMER_HEAD_SHART 60 points61 points ago

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My one friend will put food in the microwave for less time than suggested if something was just taken out of it because it's "still hot".

[–]grahamfreeman 149 points150 points ago

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You only have one friend? Awwwwwww........

[–]DocFreudstein 58 points59 points ago

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I have a coworker that--I am being completely serious--thinks that pandas are fake.

She seriously thinks that they went extinct decades ago and that the Chinese government constructed robot pandas to replace them. She says that that is the reason why they "move weird like robots" and that people aren't allowed near them at the zoo: if they were, they would see their true robot forms.

The craziest part is that there's a Facebook page dedicated to this same theory that she had never seen before until I saw it trying to Google if anyone else had this same idea.

So fucking weird...

[–]OperationHumanShield 9 points10 points ago

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So the Chinese created panda Terminators, and the US zoos that have pandas on loan are going along with the global conspiracy?

I love my time period.

[–]Hatstrosity 138 points139 points ago

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That blood is actually green and blue before it "reacts" with the air when released to make it red. Silliest idea ever, but they wont see reason.

[–]tschris 86 points87 points ago

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I teach high school biology and many of my students firmly believe this. No amount of facts can dissuade them. I had an argument with a health teacher in my school about this very topic. She ended it by saying that "we'll have to agree to disagree." It was infuriating.

[–]ziaziazia 119 points120 points ago

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I was taught this whole blood is blue thing in high school biology. Way to go public schools.

[–]Lots42 6 points7 points ago

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She shouldn't be teaching health if she can't even recognize basic blood facts.

[–]nspriggs 25 points26 points ago

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My brother (18ish at the time) once told our family while we were in the car that "Porcupines can shoot their quills up to three feet!"

I don't know why he thought this, or where that number came from, but he was adamant about it.

[–]Anders_A 11 points12 points ago

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Probably from Diablo 2. :)

[–]Saucefire 25 points26 points ago

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my one friend thinks that travelling forward in time is impossible because it would cause paradoxes. Please let that sink in for a moment...

[–]toasterbot 9 points10 points ago

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Even ignoring the fact that we're travelling forwards in time at a rate of 1s/s, "time-warping" forwards wouldn't cause paradoxes.

[–]BagelKing 49 points50 points ago*

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My father, not unlike many people, is waiting for society to unravel any minute now and for the End Times to begin. I initially misread the question as 'dangerous misconception,' which I think this is. Living one's life in wait for it all to fall apart will sort of kill one's motivation.

He also believes that the rapid development of computer technology was too astounding to be natural. He points to the bit in Revelations that states that all eyes will be on the Antichrist at once and that Apple [whose logo is an apple with a bite out of it (edit: to clarify, much like the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil)] has made that possible, "since everyone is carrying around an iPhone." More directly, according to him, supernatural forces of evil are responsible for the advancement computer technology for the purpose of speeding the end of the world. Interesting thoughts, but I don't think so.

[–]jacksparrow1 24 points25 points ago

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I'm reading this on my iPhone. I'm scared. Hold me.

[–]GundamWang 39 points40 points ago

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There's an app for that.

[–]mr_majorly 223 points224 points ago*

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The moon landing was fake.

This one, to this day, coming from anyone baffles me.

I'm prejudiced against ignorance.

[–]joseph10000 120 points121 points ago

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More stupid than ignorant.

Believing in the hoax is believing that the U.S. government managed to convince hundreds of scientists, engineers and astronauts to maintain the lie of the century for several decades.

It's fucking absurd.

[–]spartiecat 154 points155 points ago

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more importantly, the conspiracy assumes that multiple government agencies can be coordinated and competent enough to pull it off

[–]Pyro_With_A_Lighter 47 points48 points ago

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Even the fucking russians said it was legit and they would of been the first to say otherwise.

[–]Neophyte12 29 points30 points ago

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I know someone who thinks the FIRST moon landing (Apollo 11) was staged, but that at some point (she didn't clarify) Americans did in fact walk on the moon. I have no idea what her rationale is, but I refuse to ask her because I am sure I would become enraged.

[–]BrainWav 40 points41 points ago

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Moon landing deniers get my blood boiling like almost nothing else. I want to punch people when they say it.

[–]CBAnaesthesia 69 points70 points ago

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You mean like Buzz Aldrin did to that guy who called him a fraud? Classic.

[–]thattallfellow 40 points41 points ago

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[–]putin_my_ass 55 points56 points ago

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Yeah, and their greatest argument to "prove" it was faked is that there is no wind on the moon, so if it was real the flag wouldn't stand straight out.

But if they filmed it in a studio like these people claim, YOU WOULD HAVE THE SAME FUCKING PROBLEM!

[–]mr_majorly 38 points39 points ago

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I know. It's one of the easiest things to debunk. The flag had a ROD in it. Turn the pole and the cloth... OMG.. MOVED!

Mythbusters

[–]omers 72 points73 points ago*

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The number of people that think that forwarding some email, tweet, or Facebook status is going to have any outcome besides being annoying surprises me.

Facebook, Hotmail, Twitter, etc make more money by providing a free service with advertising than they ever would charging money directly, reposting a status is not helping cancer victims in the least, there are no rapists luring victims with a "lost child", I am not going to die alone if I don't forward your email 50 times (you might die alone for being an idiot though), and so on.

[–]captainhobo 49 points50 points ago

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I have the displeasure of knowing someone who believes gays do not qualify as human because 'they cannot pass on their genes' He also claims bisexuals are 'just greedy'

[–]CoastalCity 7 points8 points ago

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The former is plain stupid, the later is just insulting.

I am not sure which bothers me more..

[–]captainhobo 9 points10 points ago

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Oh yeah, just recalled another gem he once said: 'I don't mind lesbians, as long as they're willing to have sex in front of me'

[–]putin_my_ass 111 points112 points ago*

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That the sky is blue because of the reflection off of the surface of the ocean.

Then why is the sky still blue in places that are thousands of kilometers from the closest sea? Why is the sky red at dusk? Which infernal sea is reflecting red into the sky every night?

[–]SirVanderhoot 163 points164 points ago

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Have you seriously never heard of the Red Sea?

Duh.

[–]grahamfreeman 86 points87 points ago

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At night, it's reflecting of the Black Sea

[–]timmun029 22 points23 points ago

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You have to double click everything. Especially links.

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[deleted]

[–]llort_gnik 47 points48 points ago

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Falling asleep in a room with a fan on will kill you in your sleep.

[–]dude187 18 points19 points ago

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While the rest of the world laughs on, Korea continues to innovate new timers for their fans!

[–]Beezlesnort 186 points187 points ago

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Astrology.

[–]_I_AM_BATMAN_ 97 points98 points ago

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Ass-troll-ogy

[–]The_Comma_Splicer 13 points14 points ago

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Ass-troll-orgy?

[–]Namtlade 45 points46 points ago

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I'm not a fan of any psuedo-science, religion, alternative medicine or general quackery. But astrology takes the cake for being the most pointless and ridiculous of them all.

[–]KipTheFury 158 points159 points ago

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I bet you're only saying that because you're a Capricorn

[–]Namtlade 41 points42 points ago

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Oh you're such a Leo

[–]HipstersaurusRex 56 points57 points ago

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You're saying you don't believe that everyone of the 7billion people on earth is actually just 1 of 12 different types. ಠ_ಠ

[–]Donkey_puncht 166 points167 points ago

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That vaccines cause autism or other mental issues; this one really irks me.

[–]celesteyay 81 points82 points ago

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The other day I was sitting in the living room when I heard my room mate yell out to her boyfriend "if you try to tell me that vaccines cause autism one more time I'll punch you in your god damn face" :') so proud

[–]BobbyBacala 16 points17 points ago

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Hey man, the government puts things in the vaccines so they can control us, haven't you heard?

[–]Nightmare320 14 points15 points ago

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Awhile back in California a bunch of rich kids died from the measles because their parents thought they were smarter than the doctors and didn't want them to get vaccinated. The poor people in the same community figured it was better to listen to the doctor and none of their kids died. Who dies from the fucking measles anymore? No one, except stupid people.

[–]PaintedParadox 383 points384 points ago

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Every time there is an election, my father is convinced that the Democratic candidate is the anti-christ. Every. single. fucking. time.

[–][deleted] 169 points170 points ago

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If a democrat is the Antichrist, then Satan is just honestly phoning it in at this point. I seriously expect a higher standard of apocalyptic destruction. Do you honestly expect to defeat God when you're having trouble getting past republicans?

[–]SubcommanderShran 44 points45 points ago

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"Satan is phoning it in" Classic.

[–]bshine[S] 250 points251 points ago

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FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD: THIS WILL MAKE YOUR BLOOD CURDLE AND YOUR HAIR STAND UP

[–]RabidCoyote 48 points49 points ago

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My friend's girlfriend thought Obama was the antichrist.

Makes sense she's been in college for 9 years without a bachelors to show for it.

[–]hoedownmcgee 111 points112 points ago

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My friend thinks that dinosaurs never existed. And that any grant money spent on such research is a waste because it's supposedly impractical.

He's training to be an MD/PhD -- I can understand frustration about losing potential grant money for your own research because it's diverted to other things, but still. Science is science!

[–]LikesMoonPies 49 points50 points ago

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Hopefully, he also thinks illness are caused by a combination of miasmas and curses (or Jews!) That might keep him from passing his licensing exam.

Not wishing your friend bad luck, but not sure he should be practicing medicine on human beings.

[–]CBAnaesthesia 50 points51 points ago

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"Open your mouth, let's take a look at that brain!"

[–]Benthos 86 points87 points ago

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Cats can steal the breath of babies.

[–]rabidassbaboon 55 points56 points ago

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I know a guy that thinks he is a successful, well-adjusted, mature adult and constantly bitches about how everyone else is a loser and doing nothing with their life. He's 32, has never moved out of his parents' house, is unemployed, a drug addict, talks about girls that he is banging who mysteriously never come to hang out, and recently stopped talking to all his friends "cuz he heard somebody talkin' shit". He is the absolute most delusional person I have ever met.

[–]DrNarky 504 points505 points ago

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A lot of people seem to base their daily happiness on the number of upward pointing arrows they get on some internet website. Weird.

[–]ssjumper 16 points17 points ago

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It is acknowledgement from people, sort of an internet high-five. Wouldn't you be happy if you got a high-five?

[–]Brancher 134 points135 points ago

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I hope you're one of those people because I just gave you a motherfucking upvote bitch. Have a wonderful day.

[–]eNTe_eXe 166 points167 points ago*

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Former exchange student here. (Went to Texas btw)

Sunday, church day. Talked to some guy about something I don't remember, never seen him before, though. After some time he asks me: "So, where are you from? I hear some kind of accent" Me: Germany. Him: Germany....What state is that in? Michigan?

What.The.Fuck.

[–]witm 48 points49 points ago

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In florida, I had someone ask me what state Canada was in

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kleinerDAX 155 points156 points ago

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You, sir, got a taste of Texas.

[–]feedle 39 points40 points ago

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.. and you'll never get rid of that smell.

[–]10tothe24th 131 points132 points ago

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My parents still buy homeopathic medicine.

[–]E-Step 49 points50 points ago

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You could tell them to buy in bulk to save cash: http://bulkhomeopathy.com/

(Yes, it's a joke)

[–]10tothe24th 7 points8 points ago

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That is awesome.

I have been tempted to figure out how to create homeopathics (you know, that whole shaking procedure) using bleach or some other form of poison, and then ingest it in front of my parents to see their reaction.

[–]drew830 13 points14 points ago

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My brother gave me this quote once: "If alternative medicine actually worked, it would just be called medicine."

[–]nicksauce 6 points7 points ago

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Honest question: Do they know what homeopathy means? I've had people who believed it meant something like all natural / organic etc., then when I explained to them how it's just ridiculously diluted water, they reconsidered.

[–]mwatwe01 288 points289 points ago

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Came to see all the posts saying "God", "Religion", etc.

Seriously, though? I don't know them, but many Africans believe having sex with a virgin will cure HIV/AIDS. The result? Rampant rape and sexual abuse.

[–]Armadillo19 13 points14 points ago

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How about the belief that eating the body parts of albino children gives you special powers?...that's up there as well.

[–]farmersam 9 points10 points ago

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Eating albinos too

[–]clee-saan 53 points54 points ago

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Oh the irony...

[–]GodofSpam 87 points88 points ago

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Hasa diga eebowai

[–]teamatreides 81 points82 points ago

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That entropy proves evolution can not exist.

What. The. Fuck.

[–]longboarder12 7 points8 points ago

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what is the logic behind this? i'm no physics major (took thermo so i have a really basic understanding of entropy) but wouldn't entropy prove it does exist, if anything? i.e. a more "entropic" ecosystem would be more biologically diverse (as a result of evolution)

[–]nicksauce 16 points17 points ago

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The "logic" goes as "The law of entropy is that disorder always increases, and evolution is an example or order increasing, obviously evolution is false". Of course, you can use the same "logic" to show that it's impossible to clean your room.

[–]fancytalk 8 points9 points ago

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The flaw in that argument is that, while it is true that entropy always increases as a system moves toward equilibrium, systems can be moved away from equilibrium by application of external energy. As in... the sun.

[–]pangcake 59 points60 points ago

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That we swallow an average of eight spiders a year in our sleep. source

[–]imaunitard 95 points96 points ago

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that supposedly is pronounced supposebly.

[–]thattallfellow 198 points199 points ago

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Whoa, how'd you flip that d around?

[–]Enigmachine 66 points67 points ago

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That addiction to video games is a physiological response, and is as devastating as drug and gambling addiction. I'm writing my thesis on this, the evidence is heavily weighed towards the contrary.

The truth is that people who become "addicted" to video games are just using them as a crutch to stave off feelings of depression, loneliness, boredom, and insignificance.

Video game addiction is not recognized by the APA or any other official organization.

[–]noxetlux 42 points43 points ago

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Sounds like an interesting thesis but it seems, at least to me, that this:

The truth is that people...are just using them as a crutch to stave off feelings of depression, loneliness, boredom, and insignificance

is also a great deal of the time a cause of this:

drug and gambling addiction

So how is an addiction to a immersive stimulant which can make one feel powerful, desireable, smart, etc different than to a chemical stimulant (or depressive)...which can make one feel powerful, desireable, smart, etc.?

I'm asking honestly.

[–]m0nster6884 34 points35 points ago

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Dont know if this counts but my mom believes in a lot of ridiculous shit Dinosaur bones were planted-- they were real according to her but she doesn't get how their bones are there. Evolution doesnt exist.. shes also not a theist for the record (I dont ask any more). There ARE aliens among us. The government is trying to brainwash us in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY. Flu vaccines are population control. The dentist is for brain washing. ...Im sure there's more. I've had to walk away from our conversations too many times.

[–]Dr_Girlfriend_ 39 points40 points ago

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Is...is your mom Dale Gribble?

[–]draculajones 32 points33 points ago

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Nooo. She's Rusty Shackleford.

[–]lovebludgeon 23 points24 points ago

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Are you sure she isn't suffering from some sort of schizoaffective disorder?

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[deleted]

[–]karnim 37 points38 points ago

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They're starving and freezing to death because Dear Leader is spending all of the money increasing the military might of the DPRK so that the world may see the glory of Dear Leader.

Duh.

[–]NoDownvotesPlease 65 points66 points ago

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But according to Crysis they have nanosuits and alien technology.

[–]Papie 119 points120 points ago

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Regular sized suits might be more comfortable.

[–]lunahlove 74 points75 points ago

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Not the most outrageous, but one time a few years ago a classmate looked me dead in the eye and said "People who have depression are just pussies and need to stop being emo." Wanted to punch him in the face for his ignorance.

[–]notyerrington 11 points12 points ago

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I studied abroad with a girl who didn't believe in dinosaurs. I was pretty taken aback and when she said this (she was serious) because she was so normal otherwise. She recently got married and I reaaaally wonder whether or not her new hubby knows about this belief of hers...and whether he agrees with it.

[–]Abrum 125 points126 points ago

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"Desktops are so old fashioned!"

No, they're more reliable, more upgradable, less expensive and easier to use than a laptop, netbook, tablet, etc.

[–]E-Step 32 points33 points ago

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How are they easier to use?

I agree they're cheaper for the same specs, easier to upgrade & that.

[–]Abrum 86 points87 points ago

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Well, by "easier" I meant that using a nice, full-sized mouse and keyboard with a large, high-res monitor is quicker and less irritating to use than a touchpad, a tiny cramped laptop keyboard, onscreen keyboard, etc. At least for me it is.

[–]dr4g0nnn 27 points28 points ago

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The counterargument to this of course is that you can plug all of those things into a laptop and use it like a desktop, but you can't do the reverse with a desktop.

Having said that, I still agree with you.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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A friend of mine still thinks she might get pregnant by sitting on public toilets..

That same person also think you can get HIV if you get stung by a mosquito...

[–]XBV 65 points66 points ago

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Marijuana = heroin

Internet doesn't work? Maybe we got hacked.

[–]E-Step 33 points34 points ago

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Marijuana = heroin

In fairness I'll bet people calling coke/heroin/cannabis all 'dope' has caused a hell of a lot of confusion in some drug deals.

[–]AmbushDM5 17 points18 points ago

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I know a number of people who think that the seasons are created by proximity to the sun. Summer time means we are closer to the sun and winter time means we are further away from it.

In fact, the Earth is (currently) closest to the sun in the winter time (northern hemisphere) and no one ever believes me when I tell them that fact. I've even known someone who looked it up after I told them and refused to believe it!!

[–]Wick286 8 points9 points ago

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Since I work in IT I should know everything about anything remotely technology related.

[–]cjbest 121 points122 points ago

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My hubby thinks Bing is a good search engine.

[–]discworldian 72 points73 points ago

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It is - it gets all its results from google!

[–]witm 70 points71 points ago

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My mom still tells me to wear a jacket, because if I go outside in the cold, I will catch a cold

[–]kyleisagod 59 points60 points ago

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It's still a good idea, though, as being cold inhibits your immune system. But I'm sure you know that :)

[–]sirtrolls 32 points33 points ago

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Also, some bacteria and viruses have higher fitness at lower body temperatures.

[–]brynmellion 44 points45 points ago

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My extremely christian nature science teacher believes that dinosaurs were man-made gene manipulations. He denies the evolutionary theory. We tried to convince him that there were no humans alive when there were dinosaurs for that whole school year without succeeding. How could he even be a nature science teacher if he didn't believe in the things he was supposed to teach us?

[–]rlakhan 43 points44 points ago

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That any mobile phone you choose deserves your loyalty.

[–]makingplansfornigel 62 points63 points ago

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Someone I know: me

Firm belief: yes

Outrageous misconception: Without regard to effort, planning, or desperate means, a vast conspiracy continually thwarts my efforts to get to work on time.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Armadillo19 6 points7 points ago

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My friend's girlfriend, who went to Georgetown and reminds us of this fact during every conversation while making snide remarks about how crappy of a school Syracuse is (which is where we went), went on like a 2 hour long rant about how intelligence is directly related to race, and how black people have been shown to have slower brain waves, and therefore are genetically deficient.

I wish I was kidding.

[–]alias-of-a-girl 6 points7 points ago

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My mom honestly thinks that vaccines cause autism in children. Thankfully I'm old enough to have been vaccinated for almost everything a child need to be vaccinated against before that study occurred.

[–]ravenouscraving 26 points27 points ago

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I could easily say religion, but I've been indoctrinated before. It's not really THAT ridiculous.

What IS ridiculous is that my mother and many of her friends still reject the theory of evolution, and then they have a conversation about selectively breeding foxes into domestication.

[–]Reg717 18 points19 points ago*

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Big one (since I went to a private, slightly religious high school) is so many people assuming all christians believe in creationism.

Were always blown away when I told them the Catholic churches attempt to promote evolution as 1) congruent to the Bible and 2) trying to make it a founding of the church hundreds of years ago, during a time where the Catholic church had a nearly complete marketshare of christianity, thanks to the wonderful contributions of one of their bishops to science at the time (before that bishop told the pope, ever so nicely, to shut up and leave science and religion separate).

[–]LadyPancake 139 points140 points ago*

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That being gay is a choice. I even pimped slapped this person with all the logic I had in my fanny pack, but she still walked away thinking that it was a choice.

[–]kyleisagod 66 points67 points ago

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It's interesting, actually. On both sides of the coin - being gay is a choice vs. being gay is not a choice - you find an equally important rights issue that basically says that it doesn't matter how you're gay, it's still something that you do so you should be allowed to do it.

If it's your choice, then it's your choice - you should be allowed to do whatever you want to do.

If it's not a choice, then it becomes a choice in that you are choosing to act the way you feel inside.

So in either case, you're still choosing to act a certain way. In which case you can change the statement to "you choose to act gay, but you don't choose to be gay".

God I hope I don't get misunderstood.

tl;dr it doesn't matter if it's a choice or not, your rights should be protected regardless of what you do, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. And don't bring god into it.

[–]SlightlyAmbiguous 124 points125 points ago

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Because it makes sense gay people would wake up every morning and think, "You know what? I'm going to subject myself to relentless irrational prejudicial hatred and intolerance. Also, fuck equal legal rights."

Sigh.

[–]N0V0w3ls 31 points32 points ago

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Clarifying: being gay is NOT a choice. But I will play devil's advocate for a second. There are people in this world that would subject themselves to that stuff for attention. People are fucked up, but it's not so prevalent that you can possibly think every person who identifies as gay does that. Hell, how can you even think more than a handful would?

[–]SuicydKing 41 points42 points ago

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Did you ask how old she was when she made her choice to be straight?

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 65 points66 points ago

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I made my choice to be straight after I blew two dudes and figured it wasn't for me. Maybe if they had bigger dicks I would be gay now.

[–]Ragnrok 11 points12 points ago

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And one day you'll be able to say to your grand kids that the only reason they exist is because a pair of limp little needle dicks werent enough to sate grandpa's cocklust.