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[–]FleeFlee 61 points62 points ago

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Back in the ancient days when the fastest connection you could get was with a 1200 baud modem, and it could take a long time to download anything in binary format (that is, hours), I had a co-worker who posted to the usenet group alt.binaries.erotica in 12 parts a picture with the title "She's Hot!".

So, for those that spent hours downloading the 12 pieces and assembling them into a single GIF file, they were rewarded with a picture of a toaster.

[–]rv77ax 3 points4 points ago

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I will mow your lawn for free, sir.

step back slow and quietly

[–]SamuraiSevens 157 points158 points ago

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flood them with TED talks!

[–]prob_not_sol 85 points86 points ago

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nah man, enough wankers already watch those.

[–]fordestino 30 points31 points ago

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What can i say? Science is sexy.

[–]EYBUDDY 38 points39 points ago

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There's science at TED? More like a pile of rich, pompous, condescending assholes circlejerking about how to save starving africans

[–]fruitbucket 19 points20 points ago

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at four in the morning.

[–]skankphwn 9 points10 points ago

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while riding a unicycle

[–]orbat 7 points8 points ago

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I must have missed that one.

[–]TenBeers 3 points4 points ago

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You didn't see Sarah Silvermans speech?

[–]qwerty_0_o 4 points5 points ago

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link?

[–]acodemaster -1 points0 points ago

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Woosh

[–]antifolkhero 7 points8 points ago

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I am in awe of your awesome trolling.

[–]DownvoteDetective 1 point2 points ago

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That's not trolling, it's reality.

[–]antifolkhero 8 points9 points ago

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More like a pile of rich, pompous, condescending assholes circlejerking about how to save starving africans

Yes, leader of a myriad of different industries and sciences sharing ideas on how to effectively make a difference in the world and solicit funding for their ideas is "circlejerking."

[–]EYBUDDY 7 points8 points ago

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I counted up the speakers on TED 2010, ~49 people total, 9 that could be considered scientists, rest being skeptics, activists, ukelele musicians, dancers and fucking moot

[–]ljcrabs 0 points1 point ago

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20% science is still 18% better than you can get anywhere else, just be grateful?

[–]Shalmander -1 points0 points ago

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What's the average length of a TED presentation? Do they give research presentations that are five minutes long?

[–]MrFlagg -5 points-4 points ago

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it certainly isn't science

[–]binary 3 points4 points ago

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Get off your high horses, TED is awesome even if the curator is a douchebag.

[–]silent_p 1 point2 points ago

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You're thinking of the oscars.

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

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I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.

[–]ljcrabs 189 points190 points ago

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mods are asleep post some chairs

[–]matchbow 94 points95 points ago

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I don't think that would sit well with them

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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It would if it were one of these.

[–]crashnburn753 5 points6 points ago

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I think my heart just skipped a beat

[–]jmkogut 0 points1 point ago

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Is this even considered a pun?

I think it is excellent; I hate puns.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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They're seated at the strict side of the spectrum

[–]antieverything 17 points18 points ago

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Have you not seen Furniture Porn?

sfw...i guess.

[–]flarp 3 points4 points ago

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I don't know how seriously I should be taking that site.

[–]antieverything 2 points3 points ago

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Very, very seriously...obviously.

[–]nemec 0 points1 point ago

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Just think of what your furniture does when you're away...

[–]Unfa 0 points1 point ago

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That explains why my cat hogs the sofa.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Hahaha..WHAT.

[–]abledanger 0 points1 point ago

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These fellows are actually humping an ottoman, so I guess this is real furniture porn.

http://www.vidmax.com/video/1655/No_better_way_to_end_your_day_than_with_a_lot_of_ottoman_humping_with_your_friends/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen this before, haha..

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

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Damn ottoman gang bang. This is rich.

[–]siwdys 24 points25 points ago

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a rare win for 4chan humor on this site

[–]Jemer12 79 points80 points ago* 

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4chan did that while ago, when they flooded rule34.com (nsfw) with photos of this guy

[–]inflatablenerd[S] 29 points30 points ago

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I knew someone must have had that idea before.

[–]BloodyDog 7 points8 points ago

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I cant find the page on ED concerning "Poor_man.jpg" could you provide a link?

[–]feng_huang 7 points8 points ago

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[–]binary 7 points8 points ago

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The best part of that article was not reading it

[–]skimitar 1 point2 points ago

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I hope he knows.

[–]TheRealBuzzLightyear 251 points252 points ago* 

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This is far more funny than flooding youtube with porn.

[–]A-punk 13 points14 points ago

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And less annoying as well. I hope one day I'll be able to live in a world where I can search a Jonas Brothers film clip without getting a face full of dicks.

[–]butteryhotcopporn 81 points82 points ago

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Someday, that will be the correct result when you search for "jonas brothers film clip"

[–]evilpeter 43 points44 points ago

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What do you mean 'someday'? Every single jonas brothers clips there is has always been full of dicks.

[–]trankev 11 points12 points ago

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I hope one day you'll stop searching for Jonas Brothers film clips.

[–]taeratrin 25 points26 points ago

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I swear to god that if I'm flapping to a porn video and it suddenly switches to the Muppets, I will hunt you down and rip out your eyeballs.

Just sayin'....

[–]syuk 7 points8 points ago

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Ms Piggy was quite curvaceous and she had no shame, have you seen the one where she DP's with Kermit and Beaker?

[–]debman3 1 point2 points ago

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I think that it would be better than a big focus on the guy's head just when you're finishing. happened to me. a lot.

[–]humpolec 34 points35 points ago

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[–]withtwors 12 points13 points ago

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This is one of the oddest things I've ever seen.

[–]fucktoy 6 points7 points ago

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I'll never look at my chairs the same way again.

[–]RexMag 1 point2 points ago

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Long time since I've seen that. Thanks for the laugh again.

[–]shinratdr 1 point2 points ago

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That site is so old, I remember the SexTV channel doing a profile on them back when it existed & was worth watching because I was a horny child and it had "Sex" in the name.

[–]bkbeezy 0 points1 point ago

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Where's that channel now!?!

[–]shinratdr 2 points3 points ago

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In the graveyard with almost every other specialty digital cable channel.

[–]bkbeezy 0 points1 point ago

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NOOOOOOOOOOO

[–]spentrent 11 points12 points ago

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Hahahah stock-photography spamming could be funny. Trolling pornsters with lots of smiling office people, insta-boner-kryptonite.

[–]MrDowntown 0 points1 point ago

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This is what happened to several NSFW Usenet groups back in the good old days.

[–]kabloink 11 points12 points ago

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The problem with this logic is that while you may think the videos are non sexual, there will always be someone who finds them quite gratifying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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fap fap fap "wait...wtf dust mites?! ...Whatever" fap fap explosion

[–]WellWhatNow 67 points68 points ago

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This is a veiled Christian plot to ruin everything good on the internet.

[–]Biemans 7 points8 points ago

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I once shared a uninteresting video of a fellow student on eMule with a NSFW filename (something like "Lolita Cucumber Licking Young Teen Cheerleader Fucking Gym Teacher.avi"). It was downloaded over 20.000 times from my computers and I don't know how many downloaders shared their downloaded files. I hoped he would stress out, but he didn't care at all.

[–]JoshFiles2 3 points4 points ago

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So that's Star Wars Kid got popular.

[–]inflatablenerd[S] 22 points23 points ago

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If it does happen, I hope we force /r/nsfw to make a new marker: BFW. Bad For Wanking.

[–]BoxMacLeod 31 points32 points ago

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VSFW: Very Safe For Work

[–]indite 12 points13 points ago

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Just TPS reports.

[–]level1 4 points5 points ago

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I have that fetish.

[–]PunThreadsAreLame 4 points5 points ago

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sniiiiif yeahhh, we're gonna need you to go ahead and come in on saturday...

[–]homergonerson 2 points3 points ago

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Oh, and if you could go ahead and come in on suuuunday too, that would be greeeat, mmkay?

[–]kefs 0 points1 point ago

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Lumberg fucked her!

[–]Insulsissimus_Est_Ho 8 points9 points ago

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Protip:

If you post it as 'Fetish' it won't get removed because admins simply assume 'Rule 34'.

[–]Dutchangle 43 points44 points ago

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I posted 420 videos of me smoking weed to Redtube. All the stoners thought it was hilarious...

...but were so high they forgot to comment or rate it.

[–]cates 9 points10 points ago

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I would be hesitant to post vids of myself on redtube/youporn/etc because most of the guys who come across it are going to be holding their dicks in their hands... and who knows what could happen.

[–]kefs 17 points18 points ago

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the guys who come across it

[–]you_should_have -1 points0 points ago

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  • been fucking a chick at some point in the video.

[–]habbazoot 8 points9 points ago

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I say we use this

[–]Shalmander 1 point2 points ago

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He's using Male Enhancement obliviously.

[–]Dinjaga 0 points1 point ago

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Many people have fapped to this... right guys?

...right?

[–]nerdtaco -2 points-1 points ago

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I swear he looks like a splicer in Bioshock. Fucking creepy!

[–]IJohnst 6 points7 points ago

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This is why we can't have nice things.

[–]VerbalRadiation 6 points7 points ago

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I tried but kept getting....sidetracked....

[–]unoriginalusername 12 points13 points ago

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Where I come from chairs are fucking SEXY.

[–]rocketsurgery 5 points6 points ago

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You come from furnitureporn.com too?

[–]unoriginalusername 12 points13 points ago

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No, but I have a new homepage.

[–]Shawnanigans 3 points4 points ago

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I'm 24 years old and what is this?

[–]youdontsmellbad 6 points7 points ago

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It'd be victimless too. I'm never so desperate to have an orgasm that I couldn't be delighted by a momentary distraction.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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You lack focus. Visualize your goal, and dedicate yourself to achieving it. you will never attain wanking Nirvana with that attitude.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in Eric Cartman's voice.

"Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals, I'm living proof ... Beefcake, BEEFCAKE!"

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

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Yea of little willpower, it's not like there are 300 hundred other free porn sites. Take you less then three seconds to que a new one up.

[–]cantCme 7 points8 points ago

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"I am horny and what is this?"

[–]Ash09 2 points3 points ago

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documentary about chairs maybe the chair is upside-down with 4 girls on it

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Beep

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Dope as in awesome? Yes indeed.

[–]indite 4 points5 points ago

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Has anyone ever tried to throw a straight pride parade?

[–]bedsuavekid 25 points26 points ago

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Redundant. Nearly everywhere you go, you see people flaunting their heterosexuality. Holding hands openly, flirting, even kissing in public in front of everyone with no shame whatsoever.

Some studies indicate that the figure has risen to the point where around 85% of the population is straight. It's gotten so that people even assume you're straight until proven otherwise. Most legislation around relationships (marriage, tax etc etc) now takes it so much for granted that couples are heterosexual that you actually have to specify if you aren't.

I don't know what the world is coming to.

The point is, straight pride is going on all the time. Where heterosexuals where once an oppressed minority and subject to hateful bigoted attacks, they're now the mainstream. A parade celebrating their position would accomplish nothing, since it's really not like the issue needs any public attention anymore.

[–]ShesGotSauce 2 points3 points ago

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If only Glenn Beck had been around to put a stop to this before it was too late. shakes head

[–]the_feld 2 points3 points ago

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Glenn Beck, Gay Crusader?

[–]diablo_man 3 points4 points ago

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with steaks, beer and automatic weapons?

[–]debman3 1 point2 points ago

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I remember 4chan flooding Youtube with porn, but I don't remember running into any porn. FAIL

[–]Jalek 1 point2 points ago

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That's because it's been done over and over for years. They'd probably think something was up if it suddenly stopped.

[–]Delslayer 1 point2 points ago

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Sure, the first time someone goes to watch a video promising "Hot lesbians working out" only to find an old man discussing the different stages of aerobic cellular respiration, they will chuckle a bit before continuing on with their search. But once a point is reached where the porn sites are so flooded with fake videos that users have a hard time find what they want, it will get incredibly frustrating.

And lets face it, despite the fact that 4chan is pretty random, the bulk of its content is pornographic, and the bulk of it's users spend a lot of time searching for, and watching porn online. If this idea has ever come up on the boards, it's pretty likely that it didn't gain much of a following because for those users that watch porn online, it would essentially be the equivalent of shooting themselves in the foot.

Along with that, I'd think that porn sites would actually monitor the content submitted more carefully than YouTube would. With Youtube, content is either removed because it involves copyright infringement (whuch is the biggest thing they look for), or if it's offensive. Since they can't be sued for offensive content, they more or less leave finding it to users reporting it. The only problem is that offensive doesn't just mean nudity; it can mean violence, animal abuse, excessive profanity, some type of criminal activity, or simply that a user disagrees with the ideas of the video. Basically the porn thing worked on youtube because the deleting of content is focused on copyright infringement, and there are so many different videos reported for different reasons that it's hard to sort through them all and find the ones that are truly needed to be removed. With porn sites, content is removed if having it on the server is illegal and could get the owners arrested or cost them a ton of business. Anything posted on a respectable, legitimate porn site, is screened to ensure that it doesn't contain anything such as CP or beastiality that could get them in some serious trouble. In this process it's fairly likely that anything irrelevant would also be screened out as well since that sort of thing would decrease traffic to their site.

[–]cbps 1 point2 points ago

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A turd in the swimming pool != water in a sewer.

[–]hooch 1 point2 points ago

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I love it. There are a few NSFW sites that feel like they're run by a corp. Let's spam those ones.

Good examples:
any streaming sites that have a paid membership option, and limit the viewing of an unpaid membership

[–]rickfuckingsanchez 3 points4 points ago

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a documentary on chairs

Now that's funny. I lol'd.

[–]PhillyWick 20 points21 points ago

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Patrick Stewart voice

Chairs. Sure we've sat in them for hundreds of years, but take a look as BBC goes in depth and undercover to find out just how these furniture units became so popular.

[–]skimitar 16 points17 points ago

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No-one knows who first had the idea to sit down on something other than the ground, but archaeologists agree that the very first chair was probably made of unshaped stone, something like this one in the British Museum.

[–]sanbikinoraion 12 points13 points ago

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... this one in the British Museum, which a wealthy Scottish explorer stole from an African country in the 1800s and which the museum now refuses to give back.

[–]JerkyIsSuperior 7 points8 points ago

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I would watch that.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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[–]MattJayP 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, it's gonna bug me until I find out; what song is that he's dancing to?

[–]Madamemonsieur 1 point2 points ago

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At first it is Apache by the Incredible Bongo Band. No clue on the other ones.

[–]homergonerson 1 point2 points ago

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The first one is part of Scooter's mix of "Apache" by The Shadows, no idea what the other song is, couldn't pick out enough of the lyrics to search for it.

[–]djepik 1 point2 points ago

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Now, for interest's sake (and I'm ready to be corrected)- through some extensive wikipedia reading I believe Apache by The Shadows was covered by the Incredible Bongo Band, which was then covered by The Sugar Hill Gang which was then covered by Scooter.

This version doesn't really sound like scooter's version but I can't find which version it is... (Sorry for the video, it's the only version I could find)

[–]homergonerson 0 points1 point ago

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It sounds kinda like this Scooter version, but with the electronica part nixed, and it kinda sounds like part is replaced with part of the Incredible Bongo Band version, but I can't really find what I'm hearing. You're probably right though, don't think it's the Scooter version (though I do enjoy that one a lot).

My room mates now all have that main riff stuck in their heads, and keep whistling it, lol

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if he gets ass by going out as a leprechaun on Saint Patties day.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Pool closed due to...

inclement weather.

[–]ThorThundercock 2 points3 points ago

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As someone who frequents porn sites more than I would care to admit, can we not do this?

[–]sligowaths 0 points1 point ago

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Nice try, Pope and/or the Australian Government.

[–]beanso 0 points1 point ago

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Well it's a bit harder since most porn sites have the preview gif that shows you the content of the video.

[–]kamikaz1_k 0 points1 point ago

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respect for your 2nd edit.

[–]OMouse 0 points1 point ago

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I've been thinking that it would be nice to do that for Freenet. Instead of fringe Freenet websites, you'd finally see some good stuff that isn't porn.

[–]Wewento 0 points1 point ago

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Well, pornhost.com has a lot of SFW content...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Been surfing the interweb for porn, have we?

[–]Killfuck_Soulshitter 0 points1 point ago

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This is the best idea I've ever heard.

[–]justgonnaputthishere 0 points1 point ago

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the "thought-provoking, inspired questions" guideline.

Wait, I thought that "guideline" was supposed to be a joke

[–]gan12ohman 0 points1 point ago

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What would philosoraptor do :|

[–]BigSlim 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't that what reddit is?

[–]freeall 0 points1 point ago

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This was just posted on pornhub. Not be me though.

[–]NoMoreNicksLeft 0 points1 point ago

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It would have to be more than just SFW... it would have to be insipid. I recommend recording the QVC shopping channel or something.

[–]Neepy 0 points1 point ago

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It's floored man! Multi-image thumbnails of the clips would be a pain to work around. Unless of course you plan to splice each video with 8 or so discrete porn related pictures, and who could really be bothered?

[–]noseeme 0 points1 point ago

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What, you mean like uploading videos of people knitting and video computer science lectures to a porn video site? Awesome idea.

[–]dude2k5 0 points1 point ago

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Cockblocked

[–]Mongul 0 points1 point ago

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WHY would anyone interrupt a man's masturbation session?

[–]mkicon 0 points1 point ago

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The thing about porn on youtube, was catching people by surprise. Search Jonas brothers and, OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?

As it is, there are lots of videos on porn sites people ignore anyway. Unless you literally have every fetish there is, there are lots of videos that are of little to no interest to you. The non-porn uploads would likely be ignored all the same.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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As opposed to Youtube, where every video is worth watching?

[–]mkicon 1 point2 points ago

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Another aspect, is the media won't cover the story. Part of the beauty of the 4chan porn came from all the news reports following what happened.

This story would stay out of the news for multiple reasons.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, /b/ gets off on shock and awe. This would just be ignored.

[–]Koolism 0 points1 point ago

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This is a great idea.

[–]fleshlight69 0 points1 point ago

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And any time a furry thread comes up on 4chan it gets filled with pictures of soldiers from Civ3 or something, trains, gore, or festering genitals.

[–]MattyMcD 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The other day I saw the song "Sexy Chick" by Akon on a certain website....

[–]celticagent 0 points1 point ago

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HOLY CHINESE BATMAN

[–]TheOutlawJoseyWales 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]PropMonkey -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is a hilarious idea, though something I learned no more than two hours ago might get in the way: "Uploaded videos are usually available on the site after a few weeks.". I only know that this applies to Redtube, other sites I'm not certain of.

[–]Nexgod2 -1 points0 points ago

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too many edits. downvote... :(

[–]youmadethatup -1 points0 points ago

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You'd have to get them all... there are too many "providers" out there to actually have an impact. Shut down the gay donkey porn, people would just move over to wetlicks.com... Remember, peer-2-peer is only good for illegal or illicit things -- which means only wholesome content will have a single point of failure.

[–]cartopheln -2 points-1 points ago

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You are twisted !...

[–]sleepdep -2 points-1 points ago

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like skinamax friday without the skin !!

[–]raffraffraff -2 points-1 points ago

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I think you get an angrier response if you did!